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'No, kids. I haven't seen your dad all day.'
"The set you ordered arrived today, sir!"
"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."
Tags:giraffe, giraffes, trench coat, trenchcoat, trench coats, trenchcoats, totem pole trench, totem pole, absurd, weasel, weasels, fool, fooled, foolish, obvious, disguise, disguised, disguising, disguises, kids trenchcoat, totem-pole, totem-pole trenchcoat, totem-pole trench coat, impersonate, love, date, dating, truth, confess, confession, confessions, dishonesty, dishonest, deception, deceptions
Shaving off your Beard
Tags:beard, beards, shave, shaving, chin, chins, big chin, big chins, shaving foam, hipster, hipsters, unexpected, disguise, disguises, disguised, disguising, long face, long face, stubble, hairstyle, hairstyles, fashions, trend, trends, following trends, moustache, moustaches, mens fashion, mens fashions, men's fashion, men's fashions
"This is Daddy, honey. That was Daddy's office voice."
Tags:office, voice, voices, voice change, codeswitch, codeswitches, codeswitching, code switch, code switches, code switching, linguistic, linguistics, linguistic change, linguistic changes, identity, daughter, daughters, work, work voice, dad, dads, father, fathers, daddy, daddies, parent, parents, recognize, recognizes, recognition, recognise, recognises, voice alteration, disguise, disguises, disguising
"Just once I'd like to be accepted for who I'm not."
Tags:therapy, analysis, accepted for who i am, sayings, accept, accepts, acceptance, identity, identities, self-actualization, self-actualisation, self-actualize, therapist, therapists, self-esteem, low self-esteem, disguise, disguises, disguising, pretend, pretends, pretending, self-loathing, mankoff
"Remember, I'm only doing this one time. After that, you give me the negatives, leave town, and I never have to look at your ugly puss again!!"
Tags:wolf, wolves, wolf in sheep's clothing, wolves in sheep's clothing, disguise, disguises, disguising, blackmail, blackmails, blackmailing, favor, favors, favour, favours, sneak, sneaks, sneaking, sneaky, sneakiness, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, compromising photo, compromising photos, compromising photograph, compromising photographs, betray, betrays, betrayal, betrayals, benedict arnold
"Don't be an idiot. It's lip gloss!"
"I tell you, that federal witness-protection program did one helluva great job on Eddie."
Tags:disguise, disguises, disguising, crossdress, crossdresses, crossdressers, witness protection, witness protection program, witness protection programs, federal witness protection program, federal witness protection programs, in disguise, gangster, gangsters, mobster, mobsters, organized crime, organised crime, security, anonymous, anonymity
Close but No Cigar
"It's the only way I can get some of my paitents to listen to me."
Tags:farmer, farmers, farm, farms, agriculture, agricultural management, pretentious, pretensions, illusions, illusion, ambition, ambitious, aspiration, aspirational, aspirations, illusion of grandeur, urban skyline, urban skylines, city scape, city scapes, kidding yourself, office, offices, office worker, office workers, rural, country, countryside, interior, interiors, office interiors, wallpaper, cover up, coverup, cover-up, disguise, disguised, disguising, pretend, pretending, window, windows, view, views, landscape, landscapes, cow, cows, cattle, barn, barns, ranch, ranches, cattle ranch, cattle ranches, trompe-l'œil, trompe l'oeil, trompe l oeil, trompe-l oeil, agribusiness, agribusinesses
Supermoon the rest of the time,
"Do you think my peacock disguise will work?"
Tags:turkey, turkeys, peacock, peacocks, disguise, disguises, disguising, poor disguise, poor disguises, bad disguise, bad disguises, thanksgiving, holidays, holiday season, holiday seasons, thanksgiving dinner, christmas dinner, thanksgiving dinners, christmas dinners, christmas supper, christmas suppers
"A fire hydrant, you say? No, but I'll keep my eyes peeled."
Tags:animal, animals, dog, dogs, fire hydrant, fire hydrants, fireplug, fireplugs, fire pump, fire pumps, pump, pumps, fire safety, fire protection, street scene, street scenes, glasses, mustache, mustaches, moustache, moustaches, facial hair, groucho glasses, nose glasses, novelty glasses, disguise, disguises, disguising, costume, costumes, dress-up, dress up, dressing up, evade, evasion, evading, question, questioning, looking, searching, look, search, directions
Hunter chases rabbits that pose as slippers.
"Maybe it doesn't want to be identified"
'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'
"No, the camouflage doesn't make your belly look any smaller."
"I can't help feeling a little suspicious. One half is to be run by Bill Gates, and the other half by someone called Gil Bates."
Tags:bill gates, monopoly, monopolies, settlement, settlements, settle, settles, settling, lawsuit, lawsuits, sue, sues, suing, legal trouble, legal troubles, punishment, punishments, punishing, corruption, corrupt, court settlement, court settlements, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, founder, founders, company founder, company founders, alias, aliases, disguise, disguises, disguising, legal trouble, legal troubles, suspicious, paranoid, paranoia
Man comes home and takes off his hat and mask.
'Ever wonder why hunters only shoot at bucks? We've got the same coloring as females. same pointy snouts. Same rack of...'
"I figure if we can't beat the robo-advisers..."
Tags:financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial advice, robot, robots, robo-adviser, robo-advisers, robo-advisor, robo-advisors, human error, human errors, disguise, disguises, disguising, dress up, dresses up, dressing up, pretend, play pretend, stock, stocks, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers
'Seven 'provided', thirteen 'buts' and twenty seven 'ifs' - this is the best stockmarket forecast to clients I've ever read.'
A little powder and a little paint makes a girl what she ain't!