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'For the 80th time, you cannot get rid of viruses by pouring bleach down the back of your computer!'
'I don't carry water anymore. It's hand sanitizer.'
'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...
Finally, I found a good use for that leak.
"Just your husbands feet will suffice Mam."
"I don't drink liquor for pleasure. I'm a germaphobe and the alcohol helps disinfect my internals."