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"I preferred the Old Testament God."
Tags:old testament, god, gods, deity, deities, divine being, divine beings, lightening strike, lightening strikes, lightning strike, lightning strikes, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, golf player, golf players, new testament, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, divine anger, divine intervention, bible story, bible stories, torah story, torah stories
Although tragic for her family, being turned into salt made Lot's wife very popular with cows.
"...it was believed that anyone who displeased it would meet with a terrible fate, which of course is complete nonsen..."
'The floods, the pestilence, the plagues...don't you think you could find more constructive ways to express your wrath?'
"Did he have any known enemies?"
"Seriously, don't make me smite you."
Why there are no church hecklers.
'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'
'We've created fire! We're Gods!'
"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."
Today's Sermon: The Fall Of Man
'Good Lord, you throw like a girl. We want shock and awe, not static cling.'
"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."
"I remember behavior like that being followed by fire and brimstone."
"Oh no! The gods must have been cutting their toenails again!"
"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."
'Uh, no...Generally I don't take requests.'
"Smite him, my son!"
Atheist's Rule Ok.
The Biggest Forest Fire Starter
"Stop that row!"
Monk on his cell phone gets struck by divine anger.
God strikes a cheating golfer.
'You don't get it, Wacenee, the gods being angry keeps us in business!'
'With all due respect, have you considered taking an anger management course?'