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God uses the universe as a reading light.
Tags:god, almighty, creator, creators, divine, divinity, read, reads, reading, reader, readers, reading light, reading lights, late night, late nights, night owl, night owls, light, lights, let there be light, creation, genesis, divine creator, divine creators, divinity, theology, bookworm, bookworms, book worm, book worms, book group, book groups
"Jeez, did we ever goof!"
Tags:execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, martyr, martyrs, religious martyr, religious martyrs, capital punishment, death penalty, blunder, blunders, prophet, prophets, divine, divinity, bless, blesses, blessing, blessings, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, judgement day, judgment day, mistake, mistakes, goof, goofs, pious, piety, believer, believers, god's will, sin, sins, sinning, sinner, sinners, saint, saints, martyred, blame, blames, blaming, god's wrath
'Hey, Naomi, remember last week when you said nothing short of a miracle could save MicroTechnoCom from bankruptcy?'
Zeus reading book titled 'Omnipotent Beings Who Do Too Much.'
"And God called the light day."
'Ark, Noah - not arc!'
"Hang on Gary, I think our Tracy's having an Epiphany!"
If God were OCD
Tags:religion, obsessive, compulsive, disorder, divine, divinity, godliness, creator, creation, genesis, sarcasm, literal, not quite right, perfection, perfectionist, ocd, ocds, obsessive compulsive, obsessive compulsives, god, gods, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, mental health, mental state, mental states
'I'm gonna squeeze in a quick nine black holes before the next epoch starts.'
Church sign: 'Contains some violence and strong language'.
Dante's Undiscovered Prequels
'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'
God's birthday cake.
Jesus looking at a 'you are here' map.
"Hey! Shut that door!"
'Divine Seating Plans'
Tags:why me, why not, why not you, lottery, lotteries, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, lotto, lotto ticket, lotto tickets, luck, lucky, unlucky, god, mysterious way, mysterious ways, lord, the lord, divine will, divine wills, divinity, divine, judgement, judgements, judgment, judgments, god's will, will of god, unrealistic
'Let there be lite...er, wait. Let me try that again.'
When God compliments your tie, just go with it.
'I think 'The Cloud' knows more thank you think.'
"Timmy Whitehead of Wheeling, West Virginia, asks, 'Do you ever have to go to the bathroom?'"
Tags:angel, angels, god, gods, creator, creators, creation myth, creation myths, theologian, theologians, theology, bathroom, bathrooms, bathroom break, bathroom breaks, toilet break, toilet breaks, kid, kids, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, divine being, divine beings, divinity, inane question, inane questions, stupid question, stupid questions
'Because He owns controlling interest. That's why God's omnipotent.'
'Does 'Amen' mean 'Send'?'
"Oh mighty, all-powerful, all-seeing God...why hast thou forsaken us?"