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"This isn't working. I'm putting you on a plane back to Ohio."
Tags:husband, husbands, wife, wives, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, divorce, divorced, divorcing, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, solicitor, solicitors, breakup, breaking up, broken up, broke up, dumped, split up, separate, separating, separated, kicked out, lazy, loser, losers, unmotivated, unemployed, mooch
'And if my marriage counseling doesn't help, you'll be please to learn I'm also a divorce attorney!'
Tags:attorney, attorneys, divorce attorney, divorce lawyer, lawyers, divorce, divorcing, divorces, marriage counseling, marriage counselor, counsel, counseling, counselor, counselors, pleased to know, worst comes to the worst, last resort, useful information, useful, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"I want to be put on lifestyle support."
Tags:lifestyle, lifestyles, life support, life support system, life support systems, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce, divorces, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, alimony, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce payment, divorce payments, spousal support, maintenance, spousal maintenance, gold digger, gold diggers, goldigger
"It's not a rescue, it's the IRS and my ex-wife's lawyer."
Well I'm not sure if you are aware...but the house is currently in your husband's name.
"I'm going out for a quickie divorce -- need anything?"
Tags:divorce, divorcing, divorced, separate, separated, separation, separating, filing for divorce, file for divorce, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, ex, ex husband, ex wife, ex wives, ex husbands, husband, wife, husbands, wives, couple, couples, marriage, married, marry, relationship, relationships, quick divorce, fast divorce, cooperate, cooperation, agreement, all parties agree, spouse, spouses, casual, big deal
"Don't think of it as divorce, Henry. Think of it as freedom...the next time you cheat on me with your secretary, it won't be cheating anymore."
'Divorces ‘R Us' is etched in stone on a courthouse.
"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"
Tags:chicken, chickens, free range, free range chicken, free range chicken, free range egg, free range eggs, farm animal, farm animals, divorce, divorces, divorce law, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce attorney, attractive, attractiveness, regret, regrets, marriages, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations
'What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision?'
Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.
"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."
"Your Honor, I ask you – is this the toupee of a successful adulterer?"
Tags:judge, judges, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce attorneys, divorce, divorces, divorcing, adulterer, adulterers, cheat, cheater, cheaters, cheaters, toupee, toupees, bad hair, bad hair day, unattractive, not attractive
'Why do divorces cost so much?' - 'Because they're worth it.'
The put asunder law firm - 'Divorce cases our speciality.'
'Look, if this is to be an amicable divorce, one of you will have to back down and take custody of the children.'
'...and seven years ago I donated one of my kidneys to him. I want it back.'
"Of course, your case against him would be a lot stronger if you had made him sign a pre-peccadillo agreement."
Tags:peccadillo, small sin, unimportant sin, mistake, wrong doing, rule breaking, rule breaker, rule breakers, relationships, relationship, marriage, marriages, married, marry, divorce, divorced, divorcing, separate, separation, separated, file for divorce, filed for divorce, prenup, prenuptial, prenuptial agreement, contract, contracts, lawyer, lawyers, divorce lawyers, divorce lawyer, law firm, law, laws, law firms, legal, legal documents, legal document, dissolution, solicitor, solicitors
Wills, trusts, probate, divorce, San Francisco
'If you run into trouble, give my brother a call. He's an excellent divorce lawyer.'
'Your wife hasn't broken the law, professor - she can leave you even if you do have tenure.'
"This is just like you, beverly. We're supposed to meet alone and you bring your attorney."
Tags:fish, fishes, shark, sharks, husband, husbands, wife, wives, relationship, relationships, couple, couples, spouses, spouse, marriage, married, divorce, divorcing, lawyer, lawyers, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, remoras, remora, suckerfish, sucker fish, pilot fish, mutualist relationship, mutual relationships
"As bigots, let us frown upon same sex marriage. As solicitors, let us enjoy the handsome fees same sex divorce will generate!"
"My client is being more than fair. She is willing to let you keep all the shoes and the house."