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"O.K. just one more item. Who gets the frequent-flier miles?"
Tags:divorce, divorced, divorcing, separation, separating, divorce proceedings, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, frequent-flier, frequent-flier miles, frequent flier, frequent flier miles, frequent flyer, frequent flyer miles, frequent-flyer, frequent-flyer miles, air travel, airplane travel, aeroplane travel, frequent flyers, frequent fliers, frequent-flyers, frequent-fliers, air miles, airmiles, divorce financial settlements, splitting assets, asset splitting, division of assets, lawyers, lawyer, attorney, attorneys
Early divorce settlement
Tags:early settlement, early settlements, hamlet, hamlets, history, iron age, iron age settlement, iron age settlements, bronze age, bronze age settlements, divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorced, divorcing, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, failed marriage, failed marriages, break up, breaking up, break ups, split, splitting, split up, pun, puns, wordplay
"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the bowling pins with me."
Tags:divorce, divorces, divorcee, divorcees, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, bowling pin, bowling pins, bowling ball, bowling balls, pin, pins, bowling pin, bowling pins, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, suitcase, suitcases, bowling alley, bowling alleys
"I want to be put on lifestyle support."
Tags:lifestyle, lifestyles, life support, life support system, life support systems, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce, divorces, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, alimony, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce payment, divorce payments, spousal support, maintenance, spousal maintenance, gold digger, gold diggers, goldigger
"Eric's recently come through a divorce."
"It's your grandparents, claiming their visitation rights."
"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, family law, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, negotiation, negotiations, negotiating, offer, offers, offering, final offer, treat, treats, biscuit, biscuits, pat, pats, good dog, praise, client, clients, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, mediation
"Frankly, since my wife left me it's more than I can keep up with."
Tags:divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, mortgage repayment, mortgage repayments, mortgage, mortgages, dog house, dog-house, dog houses, dog-houses, doghouse, doghouses, expensive divorce, expensive divorces, marriage breakdown, marital breakdown, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pet, pets
"When my wife and I got married we had nothing but love. Now where we arw getting a divorce I'm back to having nothing."
Tags:marriage, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, marriage problem, marriage problems, divorce, love, relationship, husband, wife, money, divorce settlement, marriage problems, family problems, money problems, wives, husbands, money problem, financial problem, financial problems
"Don't think of it as divorce, Henry. Think of it as freedom...the next time you cheat on me with your secretary, it won't be cheating anymore."
Tags:cheat, cheats, cheating, cheater, cheaters, divorce, divorce, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, silver lining, silver linings, midlife crisis, midlife crises, cliche, cliches, secretary, secretaries, infidelity, unfaithful, husband, husbands, bad husband, bad husbands
"Have you any idea of the breakup value of this marriage?"
Tags:rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements
'Oh, this? I got this in the divorce.'
"It was a complete blowout – I lost my seat, my house, my car, my wife, and my season ticket to the Redskins."
Tags:politics, politicians, election, elections, electoral loss, loss, lose, loser, lost seat, unseated, unseat, capitol hill, congress, congressmen, congressman, losing it all, lost it all, losing everything, big loss, big losses, high stakes, blowout, priorities, redskins, season ticket, sport, sports, sports fan, american football, football, football fan, football enthusiast, washington, washing d.c., divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements
DIVORCE COURT, 'Not only did she get the house and the car, I also have to train my replacement.'
Pay and display - have you paid?
"I suppose every girl dreams of someday getting a big divorce settlement."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, daughter, daughters, girl, girls, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, single mother, single mothers, single mom, single moms, single mum, single mums, family, families, bed, beds, bedtime, bedtime story, bedtime stories, storytime, story time, story, stories, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, modern fairy tale, modern fairy tales, happily ever after, romance, love, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, marriage, marriages, married life, divorce, divorces, family law, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, money, dream, dreams
'We've agreed to divide your community property 50-50...50% for your wife and 50% for her attorney.'
'As part of the divorce settlement, she wants your 'World's Best Lover' coffee mug back.'
'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'
"My client is being more than fair. She is willing to let you keep all the shoes and the house."
"And inscribe it: "To the man who gave me everything". . .It's for my divorce lawyer!"
She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.
'I made out great on the property settlement. She got the house and the cars and I got the remote!'
All this alimony to my first wife is killing me.