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'You have a lovely bedside manor.'
"That's not what I expected when I asked for a second opinion."
'Don't get your hopes up. In private practice, malt whisky and havana cigars mean you're terminal.'
"We medical practitioners do our very best, Mr. Nyman. Nothing is more sacred to us than the doctor-plaintiff relationship."
'So the epithelial cells recovered by the fiberoptic branschoscopy suggests....'
"I'm having trouble educating my patient. He keeps calling his nuclear exam results 'unclear' exam results."
I didn't ask you to undress so I could examine you. I asked you to undress because it's essential to the doctor-patient relationship that I be fully clothed and you be sitting there in your underwear."
"Of all my ailments, the one I come to see about is my favorite."
"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"
Dr. Flagg's Worst Nightmare
"When I said you could tell me anything, I didn't mean that you think I'm losing my hair!"
"Jack! I've told you before...just because I'm your family doctor and you live next door does not mean you can phone me whenever you want! Even if my house is on fire!"
"Considering the obvious lies in your information form and my tendency to misdiagnose, we should get along just fine."
'You've got to look on the bright side...your conscience won't trouble you as much!'
'Here we go again, Mr Gloez, you are NOT a couch mechanic!'
'Research shows there is a direct correlation between life expectancy and payment of medical bills.'
Patient confidentiality laws kept doctors from telling anyone about Bruce Wayne's physical.
"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"
"In order to ensure an accurate diagnosis, we've added some truth serum to your IV."