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"Of course I'm listening to your expression of spiritual suffering. Don't you see me making eye contact, striking an open posture, leaning towards you and nodding emphatically."
Tags:bedside manner, bed side manner, surgeon, surgeons, consultant, consultants, medical, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, suffer, suffering, spiritual, listen, listens, sympathy, empathy, negligent, negligence, procedure, medical student, medical students, med student, med students, training, robotic, robotics, demeanor, demeanour, eye contact
To lower health-care costs, many physicians are teaming up with airport security.
'I hope these make you feel better, because they're all you're getting.'
'My prescription: digital textbooks.'
'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'
'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'
'Doctors scare me.'
'It's out new method for determining who we should treat first. We take people in order of how loud they scream.'
'It's ok, I'm a florist'
A black belt in karate as well as a chiropractor, Dr. Glynn attempts to adjust the spines of three patients all at once.
'... which in turn will cause side effects of nausea, for which I'm giving you Trylitol, which will induce temporary blindness, which I'll counteract with...'
'Mr. Simms, I think you have a very strong case for malpractice regarding your hip replacement.'
'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'
'I understand you've had some trouble with your breast implants.'
'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'
'Sure, we called for a second opinion. That was six months ago.'
'I've had to book my appointment two weeks in advance, so we'll both sit here until I feel unwell.'
'It's a postcard from your doctor. He says he'll be right with you.'
'Our defibrillator paddles are broken! Stick his hands in this toaster!'
'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'
Thank you for suffering in silence.
'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'
'The NHS is committed to patients having control over their care...So if you'd like to check your symptoms online I'll be back later for a diagnosis and careplan.'
I.V. snap in elevator.
'If this ever stops running, just smack it here a bunch of times and it should start right up.'