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"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."
Tags:flu, flues, influenza, cold, colds common cold, common colds, waiting room, waiting rooms, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, infection, infections, bug, bugs, interior, interiors, infectious disease, infectious diseases, hospital, hospitals, breeding ground, breeding grounds, petri dish, petri dishes
"Your appointment with the doctor is at eleven-fifteen, but his appointment with you is at twelve-fifteen."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctor appointment, doctors appointments, doctors office, doctors offices, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, doctors waiting room, doctors waiting rooms, waiting room, waiting rooms, wait, waiting, running late, late appointment, late appointments, behind schedule, appointment, appointments
"I'm looking over your results, Mr. Dumpty...and your cholesterol is dangerously high!"
"Look, don't worry. I'm a doctor...I've seen it all and it's totally confidential."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, gp, general practitioner, gps, general practitioners, abnormal, abnormal body part, abnormal body parts, awkward, awkwardness, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, humiliate, humiliated, embarrassed, humiliating, humiliates, wages of sin
"You're a bit late for your antenatal appointment!"
"I need the epipen? I need the epipen?! Where am I going to get that kind of money to pay for it?"
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctor visit, doctors visit, doctor appointment, doctors appointment, medical payment, medical payments, medical bill, medical bills, money problem, money problems, health insurance, medical insurance, co-pay, co-payment, copay, copayment, medical finance, medical finances, epinephrine, epinephrine autoinjector
"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."
Recommended Tests for ages 21+
Tags:age, ages, aging, ageing, grow old, grows old, growing old, getting old, break down, breaks down, breaking down, breakdown, breakdowns, decrepit, deteriorate, deteriorates, deteriorating, self-conscious, self-consciousness, full body scan, full body scans, checkup, checkups, doctor appointment, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, test, medical test, medical tests, medical testing
"Fill out these 'new patient' forms, but leave 'age' blank, as you may age a year before you're done."
Tags:medical form, medical forms, new patient, new patients, fill out forms, filling out forms, endless forms, endless, infinite, age, ages, ageing, aging, doctor's office, doctor appointment, doctor's appointment, receptionist, receptionists, legal form, legal forms, legal document, legal documents
"So my symptoms aren't serious...but what' so damn funny about them?"
Tags:skin rash, skin rashes, symptom, symptoms, symptomatic, embarrassing, skin condition, skin conditions, birthmark, birthmarks, birth mark, birth marks, asymptomatic, giggle, giggles, giggling, showcase, showcases, showcasing, embarrassing, embarrass, embarrassed, humiliate, humiliates, humiliating, public humiliation, doctor, doctors, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, mysterious illness, mysterious illnesses
"The doctor didn't find anything wrong with me. Shouldn't he waive the co-pay?"
Tags:co-pay, co-pays, co-payment, co-payments, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, waive, waives, waiving, rip off, ripped off, diagnosis, diagnoses, illness, illnesses, family doctor, family doctors, expense, expenses, medical expense, medical expenses, medical fee, medical fees
"What other diseases have you seen on TV that you'd like to be reassured you don't have?"
"Apart from the pain, I can't take my hat off."
"I think we found the cause of your chronic back pain, Mr. Otis!"
Tags:back pain, chronic back pain, chronic pain, diagnosis, diagnoses, porcupine, porcupines, spike, spikes, quill, quills, lower back pain, ache, aches, muscle ache, muscle aches, acute pain, sharp pain, sharp pains, pain, pains, doctor appointment, doctor's appointment, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians
'Please stick out your tongue again, only much, much, much slower.'
"I have headaches, stomach, pains, aching muscles, back pains, creaking joints, nausea and dry eyes."
Tags:baldo, false tooth, dentures, denture, false teeth, nausea, nauseous, headache, headaches, symptom, symptoms, symptomatic, muscle ache, muscle aches, grow old, grows old, growing old, elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, creaking joint, creaking joints, doctor appointment, doctor appointments
"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."
"Hello, Dr. Moreno? I wanted to tell you how nice it was to visit you today, but I'm not sure I needed all the pill samples...especially since I'm not sick."
Tags:baldo, pill, pills, pill sample, pill samples, prescription, prescriptions, overprescribe, overprescribes, overprescription, elder, elders, elderly, senior citizen, senior citizens, doctor appointment, doctors appointments, sick, sickness, ill, illness, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma
"Dr. Garcia is ordering to make a lot of changes in my life."
"Joey, I've noticed...every time there's a big football game on TV...you have to 'take your aunt to the doctor.'"
Tags:baldo, football, football game, football game, football match, football matches, fake, fakes, fake sick, fakes sick, faking sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, big game, big games, home from work, skive, skives, skiving, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments
"I have a pain right here. I think it might be appendicitis."
"Poor Fernando. He's at death's door."
"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."
Proctologist Orifice Hours.
'When did you first notice that lump in your underpants ?'