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'There's nothing wrong with me. I just want to ask the doctor if any of these drugs I saw on TV are right for me.'
'My kids are grown and have moved out. How much would it cost to remove this tattoo?'
'It's a pretty simple procedure. I'm blindfolded, spun around and then I attempt to reattach your tail.'
'It's nothing to lose any sleep over. You just have insomnia.
'The jury's still out on it's effectiveness, but it is covered by insurance.'
'I'm going to make a house call, Miss Hamill. I'm going home.'
'And for insurance purposes...is this a pre-existing condition?'
'My wife says I'm full of myself, so you'll have to deduct for that.'
'On Mondays & Tuesdays, Dr. Pruess prractices conventional medicine; on Thursdays & Fridays, he practices alternative medicine.'
'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'
'Don't worry, I haven't sued any patients. I got the J.D. as a deterrent to lawsuits!'
'That isn't your biological clock ticking. I accidentally sewed my watch up inside you.'
'Remind me again of which pleasures I haven't removed from your life.'
'I'd like to start with an X-ray of your wallet.'
The doors of two doctors.