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'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'
'I'm glad I put up a suggestion box for my patients, but now I'm a little concerned.'
Ears nose and throat doctor waiting room.
'This operation should remove the swelling in your wallet - I mean, knee.'
In the dark days, before doctor-patient confidentiality.
Doctor's Office: Closed - Staff out with Staff Infection
'Good news. We have a new shot that combines all shots in one.'
'Frankly I'm looking for a doctor I won't outlive and have to change to another.'
'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'
'The patient will see you now,Doctor!'
"We're out of flu shots."
Tags:clinic, clinics, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, md, mds, doctors surgery, doctor's surgery, doctor's surgeries, doctors surgeries, flu shot, flu shots, flu-shot, flu-shots, flu jab, flu jabs, flu-jabs, flu-jab, tissue, tissue, box of tissues, replacement, replacements, substitute, substitution, substituting, substitutions, inadequate, inadequacy, unreliable, unreliability, health care, underfunded, cut backs, cutbacks, cut back, cutbacks, public spending, public spending cuts
'The doctor will see you shortly. Try not to disappoint him.'
'Let's ease into this -- I want you to try fasting between meals.'
Waiting room occupants are called 'patients'...coincidence?
"When did we switch from magazines to musical instruments?"
'It might help if you were more cordial with your patients.' 'Dammit, Nurse -- I'm a doctor, not an actor!'
"Stress is killing you—you need an easier job, a smaller house, and a different family."
Tags:doctor, doctors, check-up, check up, check-ups, check ups, physical, physicals, clinic, clinics, doctors clinic, doctor's clinic, medical check up, medical check ups, gp, gps, md, mds, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctors surgery, doctors surgeries, doctor's surgery, doctor's surgeries, stressed, stress, stressing, stressed out, anxiety, anxieties, anxiety disorder, anxiety disorders, rat race, the rat race, middle class, middle class life, unhappy, unhappiness, depression, depressive, depressives, depressed, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes
"This figures. I've got a healthcare app and it takes two weeks to load."
Tags:app, apps, application, applications, mobile, mobiles, cell, cells, phone, phones, smartphone, smartphones, cellphone, cellphones, gadget, gadgets, healthcare, health-care, health care, doctor, doctors, appointment, appointments, doctor's office, doctors office, doctor's surgery, doctor's surgeries, waiting time, waiting times
'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'
'If his chart dips down to 15 here, he'll start emitting a hellish, non-stop squeal.'
'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'
'Give Mr. Fogarty his testosterone injection, Nurse, and then run like the dickens!'
'Read all the magazines have we,Mrs.Bloggs?'
'When all else fails, add $500 to their bill. Shock therapy can do wonders.'