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"I'm not really a doctor. I'm a placebo."
"Hey, how come no diplomas?" "Oh, I'm self-taught."
Better ask the doctor. I'm just in here because the waiting room's too full.
Government spin doctors consult Enron accountants over figures.
"Our medical intuitive will read your now."
"I'm afraid we don't have anyone to help you at the moment, but once our advertising and recruitment programme is finished we should have someone to see you in 8 years or so..."
'You'll have heard of placebo medicines, well this is our placebo doctor!'
"I'm afraid there aren't any doctors available but we do have a management consultant who is going to give your condition a helpful acronym and set up a policy review committee to consider its treatment..."
"We have to travel a LOT further to recruit GPs these days!"
"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"
London GPs could become an endangered species.
"I'm afraid minister that the consensus is that we might need even more than the novelty T-shirts and complementary key rings to sort the GP recruitment crisis."
"He's our newest partner, we can't afford to be as selective as we used to be."
1500 cap on list sizes proposed.