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"It's not our policy to disclose details of a future operation."
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, diagnose, diagnosis, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, surgeries, bedside manner, bedside manners, consult, medical consult, malpractice, medical malpractice, policy, policies, prediction, predictions, indemnify, indemnification, national health
"Does the doctor hug?"
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, doctors office, doctor's office, bedside manner, bedside manners, new patient, new doctor, changing doctor, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, hug, hugging, huggers, personal space, personal space issues, personal space issue
Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'
"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."
Tags:medical center, businessmen, businessman, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, investor, investors, investment, investments, heartbeat, heartbeats, stock market, doctor, doctor visits, stock broker, ekg, examination, result, heart examination, annual check up, businessman, heart rate, heart rates
Psychologist to man with many pictures of him: 'Let's talk about this new obsession.'
Doctor to man: 'Your kidney stone test came back. You didn't pass.'
"It's your ear, nose, and throat."
Tags:physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, diagnose, diagnosis, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, surgeries, physical, physicals, check-up, check-ups, otolaryngologists, otolaryngologist, ent doctor, ent doctors, medical issues, medical issue, medical exam, medical exams, ear nose and throat, ear, nose, throat, medical specialist, medical specialists, specialist, specialists
Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'
Doctor to mom about kid: 'Hey - 104.5? Your kid's temperature happens to be my favorite radio station!'
'You need to do something about your dry skin.'
Doctor to aardvark: 'Nothing serious. You have ants in your pants.'
Doctor to patient: 'Nah - you don't need to make a hospital appointment. I can do this procedure with a laser pen.'
Lady Doctor: 'I can fit you with a prosthetic.' Dog: 'A faux paw?'
"I'm sorry--I'm a left-foot podiatrist."
Tags:podiatrist, podiatrists, podiatry, specialist, specialists, special, specials, expert, expertise, experts, area of expertise, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor office, hospital, hospitals, health-care, healthcare, health care, diagnose, diagnosis, patient, patients
"Well, yeah - I am hungry. Dang, it's like you can read my mind."
"Alright, Grandfather, let's check your ticker."
Tags:grandparents, grandparent, grandfather clocks, heart problem, heart problems, grandfather, grandfather clock, clocks, ticker, clock ticker, heart, heart health, medical, health, healthcare, doctors, doctor visits, check heart, heart doctor, cardiology, cardiologist, aging, grandpa, elderly care, cardiologists
"The doctor didn't find anything wrong with me. Shouldn't he waive the co-pay?"
Tags:co-pay, co-pays, co-payment, co-payments, doctor visit, doctor visits, doctor appointment, doctor appointments, waive, waives, waiving, rip off, ripped off, diagnosis, diagnoses, illness, illnesses, family doctor, family doctors, expense, expenses, medical expense, medical expenses, medical fee, medical fees
"You've got something very rare. Good health insurance."
Tags:health insurance, doctor, healthcare, doctors, health care, doctor visits, check-ups, health-care, health insurance industry, medical insurance, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, medical cover, healthcare cover, health cover, surgeon, nurse, general practitioner, checkup, check-up, checkup, check up, check-ups, check ups, illness, disease, sickness, rare, unusual
"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."
Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'
Doctor about spinning plates on patient: 'I'm concerned about his platelets.'
Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'
Doctor to man: 'Don't kid yourself. You don't have athlete's foot - more like couch potato's corns.'
Doctor to man about suits: '...And the next part of your stress test will involve dealing with malpractice lawyers.'
Doctor to patient: 'Alcohol is fine, as long as you don't apply it internally.'