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"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"
"I don't think you're getting enough stress."
Tags:stress, stress out, stressed out, stressing out, stressor, stressors, doctor's orders, relax, relaxation, doctor's advice, doctors advice, advice, order, orders, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiousness, anxiety, anxieties, medical advice, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, healthy living
"Medicine is giving the eat-drink-and-be-merry model another look."
"Have you tried lying around watching crappy TV?"
'For the elevated blood pressure, exercise and cut down on salt. For the rash, exercise and cut down on salt. For the headaches, exercise and cut down on salt.'
"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."
'It's just a mild hyperinsulism due to islet cell hyperplasia with a touch of hepatic insufficiency and glycogen depletion. In other words watch your diet.'
"I've got a weak muscle in my eye, and my doctor says the patch will help."
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, pirate captain, pirate captains, eye patch, eye patches, eyepatch, eyepatches, weak ye muscles, medical advice, doctors advice, pathetic, modern life, modern attitudes, doctor's advice, good advice, backstory, backstories, tragic backstory, tragic backstories, fight, fights, disappointment, disappointments
'My kids are grown and have moved out. How much would it cost to remove this tattoo?'
'My doctor says I should try to have more fun at work.'
"I'd like to see you cut back to eating only two, three ships a day."
Tags:kraken, krakens, sea monster, sea monsters, ocean monster, ocean monsters, giant squid, giant squids, mythical creature, mythical creatures, doctor, doctors, doctor's advice, medical advice, doctors advice, gp, gps, nutritionist, nutritionists, dietitian, dietitians, dietician, dieticians, weight loss, weight-loss
"My doctor suggested I get less fat in my diet."
"Give it to me straight, Doc. How long do I have to ignore your advice."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doc, medical advice, doctors advice, doctors orders, medical result, medical results, doctors office, doctors offices, ignoring advice, ignore advice, ignored advice, ignoring medical advice, patient, patients, annoying patient, annoying patients, life expectancy, prognoses, prognosis
"My doctor want's me to watch what I eat."
Tags:diet, diets, dietician, dieticians, dietitian, dietitians, nutritionist, nutritionists, doctor, doctors, doctor's advice, doctors advice, watching what you eat, weight problem, weight problems, weight issue, obese, obesity, overweight, weight loss, weight-loss, medical advice, medical tips, misunderstanding, misunderstandings
'You need to get out more.'
"Insomnia is nothing to lose sleep over."
Tags:insomnia, insomniac, insomniacs, sleeping disorder, sleeping disorders, sleeping problem, sleeping problems, losing sleep, stress, stressful, stressfulness, stressed out, doctor, doctors, doctor's advice, doctors advice, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical problem, medical problems
"That's not what I expected when I asked for a second opinion."
Tags:second opinion, second opinions, referral, referrals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, doctor-patient relationship, doctor-patient relationships, bedside manner, bedside manners, silly faces, funny faces, health care, medical advice, medical opinion, medical opinions, doctor's advice, doctors advice
"Let's forget the Wizard and go see Dr. Oz!"
"Take two aspirin in a piece of cheese and call me in the morning."
"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, diet, diets, dieter, dieters, dieting, weight loss, weight-loss, losing weight, nutritionist, nutritionists, gp, gps, food group, food groups, healthy diet, healthy diets, healthy food, health food, health foods, balanced diet, balanced diets, doctor's advice, doctors advice, overweight, weight gain, weight-gain, fat, fatness, weight problem, weight problems
"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."
"My doctor put me on one cup of coffee a day."
"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."
Tags:natural remedies, natural remedy, alternative medicines, herbal treatment, herbal treatments, herbal, alternative medicine, supplements, fermentation, doctor, doctors office, check up, physical, doctors advice, big pharma, pharmaceuticals, naturopathic medicine, conventional medicine, naturopath, herbs
'Quit chewing tobacco? But that's the only source of fiber I get.'
"If you follow my orders and break those bad habits, you'll be in as good a shape as you've never been."
Tags:unhealthy lifestyle, unhealthy lifestyles, bad habit, bad habits, healthy choice, healthy choices, health choice, health choices, lifestyle change, lifestyle changes, bad habit, bad habits, vice, vices, obesity, fatness, obese, fat, weight problem, weight problems, medical advice, doctor's advice, doctors advice