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'It's a pretty simple procedure. I'm blindfolded, spun around and then I attempt to reattach your tail.'
'It's nothing to lose any sleep over. You just have insomnia.
'The jury's still out on it's effectiveness, but it is covered by insurance.'
'And for insurance purposes...is this a pre-existing condition?'
'My wife says I'm full of myself, so you'll have to deduct for that.'