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Receptionist to patients in waiting room: 'The doctor will be with you tomorrow as he believes that time heals all wounds.'
Doctor with tongue depressor in man's mouth: 'No, really, it's okay ... I was done with the popsicle.'
Doctor to amphibian: 'You have toad rage.'
Psychologist's receptionist to man: 'I'm afraid I cancelled your appointment - the doctor has decided you don't exist.'
Podiatrist to patient: 'Ok ... who's gonna foot the bill?'
MD to cat: 'You have to stop being so curious. It's killing you.'
'Nice try, Finnegan, but you can't fool a doctor like this.'
'Still have gas problems, Mr. Quigley?'