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"Too bad you shredded the gift receipt."
"Psst - I can get that ridiculous thing off you in about 2 seconds - just say the word."
'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'
"Don't worry. He's too embarrassed in that sweater my mom knitted to run away."
Dog in Christmas outfit with cracker.
'Oh Frank, what have they done to you?'
"I take back those awful things I said about them making you wear a doggie sweater...I heard the older woman say something about the cat's pajamas!"
"Now that Christmas is over, could you please remove this stupid bloody jumper?"