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Shar-Pei sees wrinkle cream.
Dog to dog: 'I didn't even know I was broken, but my nice owner is taking me tomorrow to get fixed.'
Man about dog relaxing in chair: 'He's a full-blooded recliner.'
Woman about dog: 'Oh, he's just mad because you left the toilet seat down.'
Dog to cat about sleepy owner: 'Man, does he hate it when I wake him up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.'
"All I did was what my master trained me to do... but it's me that gets the needle!"