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'I've been on welfare for five years - It seems like I'm about due for a raise.'
'One nice thing about being an economist is that I know why I'm here.'
"How are you faring in this 'Jobless Recovery'?"
"Just because times are tough doesn't mean we should cut back on staff training...So today I'd like you to spend some time at the benefits agency..."
Worker Bees and Unemployed Bees
'No, not that Bill Gates.'
'My father is out applying for unemployment benefits. My mother is out looking for work. Please call back later.'
'Congratulations graduates. We are here to help with your resume preparation and unemployment insurance applications.'
'I can't keep up with technology either.'
Unemployed: 'The hardest part is adjusting to your new position in society!'
'I see... You're unemployed but you can still afford a dog...'
'I have a plan to shorten the dole queues...Make them stand closer together.'
'I got a job honey. I was hired by a guy I met on the unemployment line, to distribute his resumes along with my own, when I go for job interviews.'
'I discovered that a recession becomes a depression when MY unemployment ran out!'
'I'm a welfare recipient, but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'
Unemployment Insurance: 'Did you look for work this week?'
'You've been coming here so long that you'll probably be invited to the staff Christmas party!'
'Notice how PUNCTUAL I am?'
'I've organized a transfer for you. You start on the dole tomorrow.'
'Why not take part of your check in lottery tickets?'
'These politicians have internalized the saying 'To give is better than to take'. First, they give attention to the jobless people and later, they take away the unemployment benefits.'
Iain Duncan Smith: Welfare reform
'The good news is, once you get social security , you can afford to live in rural China, where we're sending your job!'
Could of been Worse
'It seems layoffs will continue.'