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A bull does his work with a bear head on the wall.
Tags:bull market, bull markets, bull, bulls, bear, bears, bear market, bear markets, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, upswing, economic, economics, turnaround, turnarounds, good economy, good economies, economic turnaround, healthy economy, healthy economies, stock market, stock markets, dow jones, djia
'You're beat. Maybe you need to wake up to a better morning news team.'
Dow Jones' Greatest Hits
Tags:dow, dow jones, djia, dow jones industrial average, wall street, greatest hit, greatest hits, record high, record highs, bull market, bull markets, bullish, stock, stocks, stock market, stock markets, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing
"And that's how Twitter almost crashed the Dow."
Tags:stock, stock price, stock prices, dow, dow jones, down jones industrial average, djia, investor, investors, stock, stocks, stockmarket, stockmarkets, scary story, scary stories, campfire, campfires, campfire story, campfire stories, hedge fund, hedge funds, storyteller, storytellers, storytelling, frighten, frightens, frightening, spook, spooks, spooky, spookiness, camp, camps, camping, crash, crashes, crashing, market crash, shortsell, short sell, shorting, short selling, correction, market correction, market corrections
'I see you majored in hacking with a minor in industrial sabotage? You're just what we're looking for.'
The Dow Jesus Index
Tags:jesus, jesus christ, christ, rise from the dead, rise again, dow jones, stock market, stock markets, stock, stocks, stock market crash, stock market crashes, stock market rise, stock market rises, economy, economies, maga, make america great again, miracle, miracles, trump, donald trump, president donald trump, president trump, trump administration
'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'
"Today the Dow Jones plummeted when Alan Greenspan opened his mouth but recovered when it was revealed he was yawning."
"On Wall Street today, the stock market corrected its previous correction, and is pretty sure it's got it right this time."
Tags:stock market, tv, news, correction, wall street, recession, financial crisis, economy, mistakes, market correction, market corrections, recessions, euphemisms, crash, crashes, crashing, financial news, financial reporter, financial reporters, dow jones, djia, wall street, wall street trader, wall street traders, stockbroker, stockbrokers, mankoff
"Today, the U.S. budget, the Dow Jones, and the universe all expanded to uncharted territory."
"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."
Tags:dow jones, djia, market, markets, market correction, market correction, crash, stock market crash, stock market crashes, blip, blips, wall street, day trader, day traders, day trading, financial news, finances, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, news anchor, news anchors, stocks and bonds, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers
"Dow Jonesy enough for you?"
Tags:dow jones, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, broker, brokers, investor, investors, investment, investments, rollercoaster, rollercoasters, roller-coaster, roller-coasters, fairground ride, fairground rides, amusement park, amusement parks, roller coaster ride, rollercoaster rides
'I'm too tired to hear the whole story. Who wins, the bear or the bull?'
Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."
"After all O'Shaunessy, this is Wall Street."
'There's been no confirmation, but the possible merger of two giants has sent stock prices soaring.'
'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'
"Phew! I'm glad this part of the ride is over..."
Ron adopted an unorthodox approach to making investment decisions.
'How did your big investment go, dear?'
Fortune - Lost a Fortune.
"Blame the messenger."
'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'
"Is that for Sadaam's capture or the dow breaking the thousand?"
'Look, I told you, I'll come and have dinner just as soon as I've broken even.'