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'I don't get it...after all the budget cuts to streamline the work force, why aren't we moving faster.'
"You can have Burnett's old office and Burnett's old desk, but it's not right for you to have Burnett's old number."
Tags:replacement, replacements, retire, retires, retiring, layoff, layoffs, laid off, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, jersey, jerseys, football, sports, inherit, inherits, inheriting, inheritance, office, offices, white collar job, white collar jobs, athlete, athletes, retired number, retired numbers, legend, legends, all star, all stars, fire, fires, firing, firings, recession, legend, legends, legendary
"I know we didn't accomplish anything, but that's what meetings are for."
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, waste of times, wastes of time, wasting time, time waster, time wasters, accomplishment, accomplishments, accomplish, accomplishes, accomplishing, unproductive, manager, managers, boardroom, boardrooms, boardroom meeting, boardroom meetings, meeting, meetings, corporate culture, executive, executives, corporation, corporations, faceless corporation, interruption, interruptions, interrupting, work flow, efficient, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring
"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."
Tags:market, wall street, market forces, efficiency, free market, free markets, marriage problem, marriage problems, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, inefficient, marriages, marriage trouble, marriage troubles, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, efficient, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, cut costs, cutting costs, modern marriage, modern marriages, mankoff
'Sorry we have to let you go, Bob, but it's just a matter of budget priorities.'
"I still say we're stretched dangerously thing."
The Downsizing Continues
Tags:downsize, downsizes, downsizing, computer, computers, personal computer, personal computers, pc, pcs, p.c., p.c.s, declining sales, computer company, computer companies, storefront, storefronts, downscale, downscales, downscaling, restructure, restructures, restructuring, business loss, business losses, crash, crashes, crashing
'...the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'
"We've decided, Carmichael, to give you back to the community."
Tags:donate, donates, donating, donation, donations, give back, giving back, community donation, charity, charities, charitable donation, charitable donations, fire, fired, firing, firings, sacked, sacking, sackings, layoff, layoffs, laid off, lay off, lay offs, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring, bearer of bad news, bearers of bad news, messenger, messengers, breaking bad news, cushion the blow, cushioning the blow
"Careful! That's his firing hand."
Tags:firing hand, firing hands, handshake, handshakes, downsizing, downsized, downsizes, downsize, downsizes, layoff, layoffs, lay-off, lay-offs, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, managements, corporate culture, fire, fires, fired, firing, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, firing hand, firing hands
'In my proposed management reorganization plan, we shuffle our desks around like this, really FAST, announce we've made a 50% staff reduction, and hope nobody notices!'
"The dip in sales seems to coincide with the decision to eliminate sales staff."
Tags:sales, staff, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring, corporation, corporate, profit, profits, profit margin, profit margins, decline, declines, declining, sales decline, sales declines, shrink, shrinks, shrinking, workforce, workforces, work forces, work force, chart, charts, layoff, layoffs, lay-off, lay-offs, laid off
"In the light of the current financial position management has decided to cancel the Christmas party but. . .you can still come in and use the photocopier to photocopy your bottoms."
'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'
"Mr. Herman, you made me laugh and you made me cry, but you didn't make me money."
Tags:firing, firings, fired, sack, sacked, sacking, sackings, layoff, layoffs, laid off, lay off, lay offs, make money, making money, laugh, laughs, laughing, comedy, comedies, drama, dramas, duality, employee, employees, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring, bottom line
"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."
Tags:streamline, streamlines, streamlining, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, expertise, expert, experts, management consultant, management consultants, mob, mobs, mob hit, mob hits, mafia, mafia hit, mafia hits, consulting firm, consulting firms, shoot, shoots, shooting, shootings, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, outside help, consultant, consultants, consulting firm, consulting firms, brutal, firing, firings, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, layoff, layoffs, laid off
'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'
'Offshoring is the future and I'm afraid we've founds a lawyer in Mumbai whose 46% better at being you for half the cost.'
'The company needs to cut it's overheads..we need you legal advice.'
'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'
Tags:dead wood, dead, wood, dispose, disposes, disposing, disposed, disposal, disposal, fire, fires, firing, fired, sack, sacking, sacks, sacked, layoff, layoffs, lay off, lay offs, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, downsized, redundancy, redundant, worry, worries, worrying, worried, worrierthe flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"Meechum, clear out your desk and be out of this building in an hour."
Tags:yes man, yes men, fired, firing, firings, layoff, layoffs, laid off, laying off, subservient, subservience, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, can do, comply, complies, complying, compliant, office drone, office drones, worker drone, worker drones, executive, executives, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, corporate downsizing, last day, last days, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies
"Johnson, look at the lilies of the field. They neither spin nor toil. Fire them."
Tags:lilies of the field, businessman, businessmen, fire, fires, firing, firings, flower, flowers, stop, stops, stopping, stop to smell the flowers, limo, limos, limousine, limousines, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, bottom line, bottom lines, toil, toils, bible verse, bible verses, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, elitism, appreciate life, appreciates life, appreciating life, executive, executives, business executive, business executives
'Mmmh... Do I give up a life of luxury and privilege that people can only dream of... or just lay off half of you?'
'Good news I'm ten percent under budget.'
"And the Lord said, 'They shall gradually, so as not to cause unemployment, beat their swords into plowshares.'"
Tags:defense budget, defense budgets, military budget, military budgets, budget cut, budget cuts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, military industry, military industrial complex, military industrial complexes, unemployment, unemployment rate, unemployment rates, cut, cuts, cutting, cut costs, cuts costs, cutting costs, slash the budget, slashes the budget, slashing the budget, religious right, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, preach, preaches, preaching, bible story, bible stories