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'Hello? I need a cab. I'm at a place called...um...looks like RAB or something.'
"Pull over and let me drive - you're too drunk to hit anyone."
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, hit, hits, hitting, bumpercar, bumpercars, bumper car, bumper cars, carnival, carnivals, carnival ride, carnival rides, amusement park, amusement parks, amusement park ride, amusement park rides, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, sober, skill, skills, game of skill, games of skill, take the wheel, takes the wheel, taking the wheel, irresponsible, irresponsibility
'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, drunk, drunks, drink drive, drink drives, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers, sobriety tests, sobriety tests, dui, touch, touches, touching touched, nose, noses, mistake, mistakes, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"No more for me, thanks - I have to denigrate his driving."
Tags:backseat driver, backseat drivers, backseat driving, back-seat driver, back-seat drivers, back-seat driving, back seat driver, back seat driving, back seat drivers, denigrate, insult, insults, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, wine, wines, husband, husbands, wife, wives, driving skill, driving skills, critic, critics, limit, limits, alcohol, eating out, date, dates, love life
'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'
'That was a pretty straight line but this is Canada. Try it wearing these.'
"Rudolf! You're in no shape to guide my sleigh tonight!"
Tags:sleigh, sleighs, sled, sleds, sledge, sledges, rudolf, rudolph, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st nick, st. nick, st nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nicholas, festive period, festive season, drunk, drunks, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drink driver, drink driver, drink driving, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, alcoholic, alcoholics
'I'll believe you're sober, and weren't lying to me about drinking and driving when you can touch the tip of your nose.'
'I see you were following a twitter account while driving. You'll be charged with driving wile under the influence of an influencer.'
'You've taken a sobriety test before.'
"Here's a nice one. It was confiscated from a little old drunk lady."
Tags:car, cars, second hand car, second-hand cars, second hand cars, second-hand car, car dealer, car dealers, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople, car dealership, second hand car dealership, second-hand car dealership, customer, customers, confiscated, confiscation, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drink and drive, over the limit, alcoholic, drunk, drunk, alcoholic, alcoholism, addict, addicts, addictions, taking advantage, elderly drivers, old drivers, automobiles, automobile, automobile dealer, automobile dealers, consumers, consumer, consumerism, exploit, exploitation, used car, used cars, used car dealer, used car dealers, criminal, law, laws, law breaking, law breaker
"Funny, funny, funny, but we're going to pass on 'How to Drink and Drive.' "
Tags:publishers, publisher, publishing, traffic cop, traffic cops, transport cop, transport cops, traffic police, transport police, drink driver, drink drivers, drink driving, cars, writers, artists, editors, publishing, automobiles. accidents, drinking, self-help book, self-help books, self help book, self help books, drink driving, mankoff
"No more, thanks - I'm flying."
Tags:helicopter, helicopters, helicopter pilot, helicopter pilots, pilot, pilots, flight, flights, drunk, drunks, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drunk driving, overindulge, drink driver, drink drivers, overindulged, overindulges, overindulging, flying license, flying licenses, flying licence, flying licences
'You are drunk. Thanks goodness, I thought my steering had gone.'
"Three cheers for driverless cars."
'This tells you if you've had too much to drink.' - 'Amazing, sounds like my wife.'
"Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and place your thumbs on this text-alizer..."
Tags:texting and driving, distracted driving, law enforcement, driver safety, driving safety, driving safely, highway patrol, highway safety, smartphones, mobile devices, cops, police, traffic enforcement, text, texts, text message, text messages, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers
"Well according to the breathalyzer you have been drinking - from the toilet."
Designated driver at a party.
'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'
Not A Creature Was Steering.
'I said to recite the alphabet. You may not google it!'
'Okay, for this part of the sobriety test, I want you to say all the numbers of pi.'
'When I drink, I don't drive. I stay right here where it's safe and cozy.'