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'Hello? I need a cab. I'm at a place called...um...looks like RAB or something.'
"Pull over and let me drive - you're too drunk to hit anyone."
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, hit, hits, hitting, bumpercar, bumpercars, bumper car, bumper cars, carnival, carnivals, carnival ride, carnival rides, amusement park, amusement parks, amusement park ride, amusement park rides, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, sober, skill, skills, game of skill, games of skill, take the wheel, takes the wheel, taking the wheel, irresponsible, irresponsibility
'Actually, I wanted you to touch your own nose.'
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, officer, officers, cop, cops, drunk, drunks, drink drive, drink drives, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers, sobriety tests, sobriety tests, dui, touch, touches, touching touched, nose, noses, mistake, mistakes, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
"No more for me, thanks - I have to denigrate his driving."
Tags:backseat driver, backseat drivers, backseat driving, back-seat driver, back-seat drivers, back-seat driving, back seat driver, back seat driving, back seat drivers, denigrate, insult, insults, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, wine, wines, husband, husbands, wife, wives, driving skill, driving skills, critic, critics, limit, limits, alcohol, eating out, date, dates, love life
'Now walk in a straight line... nah I'm just messing with you.'
'That was a pretty straight line but this is Canada. Try it wearing these.'
"It's the stress of freshman year, sir."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, pull over, ticket, tickets, fine, fines, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, driver, drivers, driving, drinking and driving, drunk, drunk driving, driving drunk, drink driving, don't drink and drive, dangerous, risky, party, parties, partying, college, university, student, students, freshman, freshmen, fresher, freshers, new student, new students, first year, first years, first year student, first year students, freshman year, rowdy, out of control, out-of-control, stress, excuse, excuses
"Rudolf! You're in no shape to guide my sleigh tonight!"
Tags:sleigh, sleighs, sled, sleds, sledge, sledges, rudolf, rudolph, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st nick, st. nick, st nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nicholas, festive period, festive season, drunk, drunks, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drink driver, drink driver, drink driving, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, alcoholic, alcoholics
'I'll believe you're sober, and weren't lying to me about drinking and driving when you can touch the tip of your nose.'
"Here's a nice one. It was confiscated from a little old drunk lady."
Tags:car, cars, second hand car, second-hand cars, second hand cars, second-hand car, car dealer, car dealers, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople, car dealership, second hand car dealership, second-hand car dealership, customer, customers, confiscated, confiscation, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, drunk driver, drunk drivers, drink and drive, over the limit, alcoholic, drunk, drunk, alcoholic, alcoholism, addict, addicts, addictions, taking advantage, elderly drivers, old drivers, automobiles, automobile, automobile dealer, automobile dealers, consumers, consumer, consumerism, exploit, exploitation, used car, used cars, used car dealer, used car dealers, criminal, law, laws, law breaking, law breaker
"Funny, funny, funny, but we're going to pass on 'How to Drink and Drive.' "
Tags:publishers, publisher, publishing, traffic cop, traffic cops, transport cop, transport cops, traffic police, transport police, drink driver, drink drivers, drink driving, cars, writers, artists, editors, publishing, automobiles. accidents, drinking, self-help book, self-help books, self help book, self help books, drink driving, mankoff
"Just a glass of wine with breakfast, officer."
Tags:drink, drinking, drink and drive, drink drive, drink driving, under the influence, dui, driving under the influence, drive, driver, driving, drives, high society, upper class, middle class, wine, wine time, wines, red wine, breakfast, wine o'clock, officer, officers, police officers, pull over, pulled over, alcohol, alcoholic, hollywood, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, undercut, undercutting, danger, dangerous, law, laws, breaking the law, beat, beat cop
"How's my drinking?" bumper sticker
Tags:truck, trucks, pickup, pickups, pickup truck, pickup trucks, vehicle, vehicles, driver, drivers, driving, dog, dogs, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, sticker, stickers, decal, decals, how's my drinking, how's my driving, call, drinking, drink, drinks, alcohol, alcoholic, drinking and driving, drunk, drunk driver, drunk drivers, driving drunk, drunk driving, drink driving, driving under the influence, don't drink and drive, safety, word play, wordplay, transportation
'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'
"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, drive-thru, drive-through, drivethru, drive thrus, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driver, drivers, driving, transportation, takeaway, takeout, to-go, to go, pick up, fast food, hamburger, hamburgers, burger, burgers, fries, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, martini, martinis, drinking and driving, drunk driving, drink driving
"Three cheers for driverless cars."
The mind of the drunk driver
'This tells you if you've had too much to drink.' - 'Amazing, sounds like my wife.'
"I didn't say, 'Simon says.'"
Driven to drink.
"Well according to the breathalyzer you have been drinking - from the toilet."
Designated driver at a party.
'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'
Not A Creature Was Steering.