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"I'd like to buy everyone a drink. All I ask in return is that you listen patiently to my shallow and simplistic views on a broad range of social and political issues."
"Sure, you can buy them another round, but is this really how you want to spend your MacArthur Grant?"
"What do you mean, 'can I have another bottle of pop'?... It's your round!"
"I told him it was his round. But, he just keeps telling me that I'm 'speaking with forked tongue'!"
"What are we actually celebrating here tonight?"
The Three Musketeers, while being noble and brave, were incredibly cheap.
Darwin's theory of natural selection
"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."
"What do you mean: 'Can I have another glass of lemonade'?... It's your round!"