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'Oh, so when I asked you if I should make a left and you said 'right', you meant as in correct... yeah, I totally misunderstood that.'
'Well here's your problem - the wheel hasn't been invented yet.'
'No Sir, it's not a prescription for your 'weird, dizzy turns where everything slows down and you have to go faster to compensate'.'
Honk if you've committed a crime.
'Pothole.' 'I see it.'
'Oh great, now I'm carsick again... Man, did I ever get into the exact wrong line of work.'
Tags:booth, tolls, expense, robbery, exact change, exact change lane, exact change lanes, highway, highways, toll booth, toll booths, toll road, toll roads, toll, tolls, driver, drivers, driving, fee, fees, high fee, high fees, robbery, legalized robbery, legalised robbery, exorbitant fee, exorbitant fees, expensive, expensive fee, expensive fees, mankoff
"Well, at least he died doing what he loved best - flippin' the bird at some eighteen-wheeler on I-95."
Tags:relationships, marriage, death, psychology, anger, autos, driving, men, masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, die, dies, dying, flip off, flips off, flipping off, flip the bird, flips the bird, flipping the bird, eighteen wheeler, eighteen wheelers, bad idea, bad ideas, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, road rage, mankoff
"Why isn't my car horn magically fixing everything?"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicle, truck, trucks, driver, drivers, driving, drive, traffic, bad traffic, traffic jam, traffic jams, rush hour, crowded, jammed, packed, bumper-to-bumper, bumper to bumper, gridlock, highway, highways, motorway, motorways, commute, commuting, commuter, commuters, honk, honking, horn, horns, car horn, car horns, magic, impatient, impatience, aggression, aggressive, road rage, angry, anger, not moving, parked, transportation
"Warp 1 - engage!"
Tags:warp 1, warp, warp drive, warp drives, hyperdrive, hyperdrives, warp speed, speed of light, space travel, space travels, space traveler, space travelers, space traveller, space travellers, pretend, pretends, pretending, delusions of grandeur, delusion, delusions, delusional, garage, garages, drive, drives, driving, driver, imagination, imaginations, imaginative, science fiction, geek, geeks, geeky, nerd, nerds, nerdy
A car with cans tied to back bumper drives away; the words "Just Kidding," are written in big letters on its back bumper.
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, newlywed, newlyweds, wedding, weddings, wedding tradition, wedding traditions, just married, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, tin cans, ribbons, decorations, decorated, driving, transportation, bumper, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, just kidding, joke, jokes, joking, practical joke, practical jokes, prank, pranks
A man drives past a sign on a vacant lot that reads "No Parking - Since 1956".
G.P.S. satellites gone bad
Tags:gps, g.p.s., gps satellites, g.p.s. satellites, gps satellite, g.p.s. satellite, global positioning system, directions, wrong directions, travel, travelling, driving, drive, driver, drivers, long drive, road trip, road trips, lost, off-course, off-track, disorientated, bad directions, gone bad, gone rogue, going bad, going rogue, bad, rogue
'I warned him. 'Don't text and drive' ... He wouldn't listen.'
Bus of Fools
Tags:bus, buses, public transport, public, transport, bus stop, idiot, idiots, idiocy, modernmodern life, stupid, stupidity, absent minded, absent-minded, absent mindedness, absent-mindedness, forgetful, forget, forgetting, urban, urban life, urban living, commute, commuter, commuters, commuting, morning commute, driving, drive, drives, traffic, traffic jam, new york, new york city, nyc, n y c, regions, regional
"Mom—listen to how much atmospheric pollution we produce just going to my soccer games."
Tags:carbon dioxide, co2, pollution, pollute, pollutes, carbon footprint, carbon footprints, travel, travelling, soccer, soccer games, football, football games, travels, drive, driving, drives, global warming, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, annoying, climate change, climate-change, children, child, kid, kids, environmental problems, sport, sports, unhelpful
"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, sobriety test, sobriety tests, field sobriety test, field sobriety tests, drinking, drinking and driving, drunk driving, drunk, drunks, dangerous driving, ballet, ballerina, ballerinas, dance, dances, dancer, dancers, arabesque, arabesques, pirouette, pirouettes, test, tests, testing, alcohol, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, impaired driving, impaired driver, impaired drivers, driving impaired, driving under the influence, dui, duis, high
"I want to get off the parkway." "Thirty-five cents! First window please!"
Tags:turnpike, turnpikes, toll, tolls, toll booth, toll booths, plaza, plazas, attendant, attendants, driving, driver, drivers, cars, car, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, highway, highways, motorway, motorways, parkway, parkways, road, roads, transportation, order, orders, ordering, restaurant, restaurants, fast food, drive-thru, drive-through, lane, lanes
Welcome to New York City - add 8.25 per cent
"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."
Tags:parking, city parking, bad parking, driving, driver, drivers, city life, city living, urban life, dinner party, dinner parties, modern life, late, delay, delays, delayed, modern times, cocktail party, cocktail parties, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, guest, guests, dinner guest, dinner guests
With the mileage on his car close to the limit for his lease agreement, Dave drove backward whenever possible.
Control Freaks, Clueless Numbskulls, Passive-Aggressives
Tags:road, roads, street, streets, highway, highways, motorway, motorways, passive-aggressive, passive aggressive, control-freak, control freak, control-freaks, control freaks, clueless, numbskull, numbskulls, sign, signs, road sign, road signs, street sign, street signs, driver, drivers, driving, lane, lanes, divisions, types of drivers, driver types, car, cars, truck, trucks, transportation, bus, buses, vehicle, vehicles, bad driver, bad drivers, bad driving
"Raising free-range chickens is the easy part. The hard part is the drive to Abilene."
Tags:slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, bronco, broncos, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, pants, chaps, saloon, saloons, sheriff, sheriffs, deputy, deputies, chicken, chickens, chicken farm, herd, herding, driving, free-range, range, free range, freerange, farmer, farmers, farming, livestock, poultry, abilene
"Stop calling! We'll get there when we get there!"
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, drive, driving, driver, drivers, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, annoy, annoying, pester, pestering, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, traffic, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones