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Congratulations on passing your driving test. But do you know what to do when a bird sh**s on your windscreen? Never ask her out again.
"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"
Tags:
rear-ending, rear ending, driver, driver's ed, driver's education, drivers ed, driver's ed, police car, police cars, policemen, policeman, car crash, car crashes, car accident, car accidents, police vehicle, police vehicles, driving licence, driving licences, drivers licence, drivers licences, driver's licence, driver's licences'For an additional fee I can touch up your DMV picture using digital photo editing software.'
"I'm only fourteen right now, but I figure by the time I get through this line I'll be old enough to drive."
Tags:
line, lining up, line up, driving licences, bureaucrat, bureaucrats, bureaucracy, bureaucracies, waiting, driving, driving licence, queue, queuing, waiting, lifetime, impatience, impatient, patient, patience, inefficient, onerous, wait your turn, bureau of motor vehicles, bmv, time consuming, administrativewhen you hear me scream' oh my god you're going to kill us...stop the f***** car'' then I'd like you to apply the emergency brake
'Happy Birthday, I bought you a car! It's an older model, but it runs great!'
"I want to make your time here a pleasant experience so that you leave today with a big smile on your face. . .April Fool!"
Tags:
department of motor vehicles, april fool, april fools, prank, pranks, prankster, pranksters, practical joke, practical jokes, joker, jokers, joking, customer experience, customer experiences, customer service, customer services, driving licence, driving license, driving licences, driving licenses'And finally,concerning being an organ donor, well...you don't really have a choice.'
"The Accelerator."
Tags:
acceleration, accelerator, accelerators, driving school, driving schools, driver's ed, drivers ed, driver's education, drivers education, student driver, student drivers, driving teacher, driving teachers, driving licence, driving licences, driving license, driving licenses, learner driver, learner drivers, science, car, comedy, abbott, costello, driver's education"Do you have documents to prove that this is your vehicle, sir?"
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driving licence, driving licences, driving license, driving licenses, car, cars, driver, drivers, clown, clowns, clown car, clown cars, entertainer, entertainers, circus act, circus acts, circus, circuses, traffic cop, traffic cops, traffic police, transport cop, transport cops, transport police, vehicle registration'Oh...Mostly because we can. Now do you want to get your car registered or not?'
"You don't seem to match the photograph on this license. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to smile."
"These are my conservative credentials."
Tags:
credential, credentials, conservative, conservatives, tory, tories, right wing, right-wing, cop, cops, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, copper, coppers, driving licence, driving licences, driving license, driving licenses, political view, political views, political opinion, political opinions'I wish you people would make up your minds! The judge took away my licence and now you want to see it!'
"And check this box if you want to donate your body to 7th grade science."
Tags:
frog, frogs, donating your body to science, dissections, dissect, dissection, driving license, driving licenses, driving licence, driving licences, science lesson, science lessons, science classes, toad, toads, biology, biology class, biology classes, biology lesson, biology lessons, dmv, science class, amphibian, amphibians"We're lucky! We don't have to learn how to spell, do math, or use maps. And with driverless cars, we won't need to learn how to drive!"
Tags:
driverless car, driverless cars, autonomous car, autonomous cars, self-driving car, self-driving cars, driving licence, driving licences, driving license, driving licenses, gadget, gadgets, modern life, modern lifestyle, modern lifestyles, smartphone, smartphones, modern age, technological advances, technological advancements