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As the crow flies. As the crow flies while texting
"New year's resolution - respect pedestrians!"
"Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and place your thumbs on this text-alizer..."
"Gosh, that guy would make a wonderful chauffeur."
"Well, maybe next year, you'll remember the rope!"
"...and please let Grandma and Grandpa get home safely... even if Grandpa is too stubborn to admit he's had too much to drink!"
"Accidents in the backseat can cause children."
"Let's see how you do on this car quiz. How many feet does it take to stop the car if you're driving 75 miles an hour and you have to slam on the brakes?"
"When I finally got my own car, I never drove over the speed limit."
'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'
'First things first, son. 'Clunk-click, every trip.'' 'Oh, yes! Stereo on, insert disc.'
"Well, you know what they say, never look back, unless you change lanes."
Watch Your Speed! No Roadwork Ahead.
"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"