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"When I was young I needed drugs to feel weird. Now, I need drugs to feel normal."
Tags:drug, drugs, drug use, drug user, drug users, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical industry, medication, medications, medicate, medicates, medicating, ssri, ssris, depression, mood disorder, mood disorders, mood, moods, personality disorder, personality disorders, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, change, changes, changing, grow old, grows old, growing old, grow up, grows up, growing up, age, ages, aging, ageing, too much coffee man
"Mommy, I don't think that was a Children's Advil."
Tags:ibuprofen, prescription, prescriptions, hallucination, hallucinations, hallucinate, hallucinates, hallucinating, hallucination, hallucinations, drug, drugs, trip, trips, trippy, psychedelic, psychedelics, wrong medication, wrong medications, medication, medications, medicating, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug abuse, drugged, overdose, overdoses, overdosing, pink elephants
"I've decided to return to my first passion in life—selling drugs to kids."
Tags:first passion, first passions, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug abusing, passion, passionate, golf, golfs, golfer, golfing, dream job, dream jobs, drug pusher, drug pushers, pusher, pushers, employment, gainful employment, nostalgia, nostalgic, happy, happiness, illegal, illegal activity, illegal activities
"I still enjoy running my winery, but these days my real passion is the meth lab."
Tags:winery, wineries, napa, napa valley, sonoma, sonoma county, artisan, artisanal, grower, growers, meth, methamphetamine, methamphetamines, meth lab, meth labs, drug, drugs, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, narcotic, narcotics, substance abuse, vineyard, vineyards, sophisticate, sophisticated, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, user, users, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, home business, home businesses
"Want to score some flu shots.?"
Tags:flu shot, flu shots, vaccinate, vaccinates, vaccinating, vaccination, vaccinations, flu, influenza, park bench, park benches, drug, drugs, drug use, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, thrill, thrills, thrillseeker, thrillseekers, thrillseeking, thrill seeker, thrill seekers, thrill seeking, jab, jabs, flu jab, flu jabs, elderly, grow old, growing old, health, health problem, health problems, adventurous, dangerous, live dangerously, living dangerously, medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions
"Our planet has run out of cocaine."
Tags:cocaine, coke, cocaine addict, cocaine addicts, cocaine addiction, drug, drugs, drug addict, drug addicts, drug addiction, addict, addicts, need, needs, addiction, addictions, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, abusing, ufo, ufos, alien, aliens, search, searches, searching, motivate, motivates, motivating, motivation, great lengths, going to great lengths, user, users
"Let's get Junkie—he'll know what to do!"
Tags:snow white, overdose, overdoses, overdosing, overdosed, junkie, junkies, junky, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, drugs, drug user, drug users, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, poisoned apple, poisoned apples, poison, poisons, poisoning
"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"
Tags:statin, statins, cholesterol, cholesterol levels, fatty food, fatty foods, diet, diets, dieting, prescription, prescriptions, high cholesterol, bad cholesterol, drug, drugs, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, stodge, stodgy food, stodgy foods, health nut, health nuts, bar food, bar foods, diner food, diner foods, carnivore, carnivores, carnivorous, medication, medications, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug user, drug users, drug use
'Thank goodness our Billy's finally found a hobby. He spends hours up there, making his models.'
"Can I call you back? I'm still recovering from a night of binge hiring."
Tags:binge, binges, bingeing, hire, hires, hiring, recruit, recruits, recruitment, new recruit, new recruits, late night, late nights, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, hangover, hangovers, hung over, bad decision, bad decisions, making bad decisions, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, manager, managers, managing
Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Family Ties
Tags:college, pot smoker, pot smokers, pot smoking, marijuana, joint, joints, smoke a joint, smoking a joint, drug, drug use, college kid, college kids, home from college, excuse, excuses, stall, stalls, stalling, mother, mothers, parent, parents, parenting, fib, fibs, fibbing, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, make an excuse, making an excuse, making excuses, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, family ties, habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits
'I've been taking memory-enhancing drugs, and now I can remember all the drugs I took in the 60s and 70s.'
"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to hand over that cape. Your test came back positive for anabolic steroids."
"I'm just looking for something to take the edge off before I give the kids the 'Don't Do Drugs' talk."
'I grew up in the drug culture but now I get the same effect by standing up too fast.'
"And where have you been all night?! Your eyes are all glazed over."
Shoes talking about "rugs"
Drugs and Sports
"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."
Tags:pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmacology, psychopharmacology, psychopharmacologist, psychopharmacologists, big pharma, drug, drugs, drug use, drug user, drug abuse, drug abusers, upper, uppers, stimulant, stimulants, hyper, hyperactive, hyperactivity, medication, medications, overmedication, overmedicated, over-prescribe, overprescription
"I miss my mom's home-cooked methamphetamine."
Tags:metamphetamine, college students, home-, cooking, mothers, mom's apple pie, drugs, food, foods, college, college student, colleges, university, universities, move out, moves out, moving out, meth, methamphetamines, home cook, home cooks, home cooking, miss, misses, missing, mom's cooking, mother's cooking, fond, nostalgia, nostalgic, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug abuse
'Yeah, I've taken a few steroids lately - why?'
Rehab is for quitters.
Lance Armstrong's web of lies.
U.S. War on Drugs.