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'It's for passing my drug test.'
Tags:drug, drug test, drug tests, drug testing, pass, passes, passing, passed, p plate, p plates, award, awards, awarding, awarded, proud, performance enhancing, steroid, steroids, improve, improves, improving, improvement, jock, jocks, athlete, athletes, jacket, jackets, patch, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'... left tackle, Barry Simons! And last, but not least, team drug tester Dr. Gregory Richard!'
'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'
"At this point, we know it's addictive."
Tags:laboratory, laboratories, lab, labs, testing, test, tests, experimenting, experiment, experiments, animal testing, animal, animals, mice, mouse, rat, rats, lab rats, lab rats, arms, arm, outstretched, waiting, wait, science, scientist, scientists, experimenter, experimenters, drug, medicine, medicines, medical, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, addictive, addiction, addictions, addict, addicts, drug testing, medical testing, medical experiments, big pharma, cage, cages
'I'm still evaluating the new truth serum, you micro-managing, pig-eyed, snot-nosed, burnt-out, impatient, obnoxious, penny-pinching, glory-hogging tyrant.'
"Do you take recreational drugs, and, if so, which one would you recommend to someone new to that kind of thing who is looking for a fun, no-freakout kind of time?"
'These drug tests, they're be absolutely confidential, right? I don't want any rumors spread about me.'
"Unfortunately, the urine test counted for half of the grade."
Tags:urine test, urine testing, urine tests, drug test, drug testing, drug tests, grade, grades, report, reports, school report, school reports, report card, report cards, school, marks, mark, marking system, marking system, cheat, cheat the system, cheating the system, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, drug, taking drugs, illegal drug, illegal drugs, steroids, steroid, adhd, add, performance enhancing drug, performance enhancing drugs, stimulant, stimulants
'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'
'Employee drug testing has gone too far.'
'Half the diabetics were given the new drug and responded well. The other half got a placebo and went into shock.'
"Sure, I'm calmer. I'm just concerned the tranquilizer darts may be habit-forming."
"The transformation is pretty bad, but the worst part is filling out the paperwork for the adverse events."
Tags:adverse events, medical, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, trial, trials, medicine, pharma, clinical trials, side effects, clinical investigation, fda, drug, gcp, medical regulation, medical regulations, big pharma, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, drug, drug test, drug testing, jekyll, dr. jekyll, mr hyde, mr. hyde, hyde
"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."
Tags:adverse event, adverse events, side effect, side effects, clinical trial, clinical trials, trial, trials, drug test, drug tests, drug testing, pharma, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, big pharma, doctor, invisible man, drug trials, clinical investigation, medical research, ae, fda, clinical investigations, food and drug administration
'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'
The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.
'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."
Lab Rat Rehab...
"I got the job! Let's celebrate - but not too much. I have to wear this ankle bracelet until I pass the three-month probation."
Tags:job search, job searches, hired, probation, ankle bracelet, 3-month probation, privacy rights, draconian, rules, contract, slave labour, labor, worker's rights, take it or leave it, home - office life, drug testing, office, random drug tests, insurance, invasive, prisoner, employee, human resources, white collar crime, background check, references, celebrate, celebrates, party, alcohol, substance abuse, recreational drugs, drug test, employment, drug tests, drug testing
'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'
Another successful recruitment drive for the Collins University Medical Research Center.
"Be careful with the ideas you generate during the brainstorming session, lest they result in another round of drug testing."
Tags:brainstorm, brainstorms, brainstorming, brainstorming session, brainstorming sessions, idea, big idea, big idea, wild idea, wild ideas, crazy idea, crazy ideas, ideas, idea man, ideas man, meeting, meetings, whiteboard, generate, generating, generation, generates, problem solving, problem solver, problem solvers, drug test, drug testing, substance abuse, creativity
'The test results are in for our new drug. 9 out of 10 doctors recommended the placebo.'
'This drug is so expensive...if it were recalled the stock markey might crash.'