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'It's for passing my drug test.'
Tags:drug, drug test, drug tests, drug testing, pass, passes, passing, passed, p plate, p plates, award, awards, awarding, awarded, proud, performance enhancing, steroid, steroids, improve, improves, improving, improvement, jock, jocks, athlete, athletes, jacket, jackets, patch, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'Good news and bad news, Kevin. You tested negative for steroids, but positive for estrogen.'
Tags:drug test, drugs test, drug tests, drug tests, steroid, steroids, estrogen, oestrogen, hormone, hormones, result, results, negative, negatives, positive, positives, good news, bad news, baseball, base ball, performance enhancing, female hormone, female hormones, improvement, in the bleachers, bleachers, in the bleachers
Post race drug test.
'... left tackle, Barry Simons! And last, but not least, team drug tester Dr. Gregory Richard!'
'Get him tested. He's got to be taking some kind of performance enhancing drug.'
'Now go out there, and tell all your friends to get some prescriptions filled this week.'
"Do you take recreational drugs, and, if so, which one would you recommend to someone new to that kind of thing who is looking for a fun, no-freakout kind of time?"
'We're extending an offer of employment to you contingent upon the results of a drug test, psychological consultation...'
'It was more of a 'triple blind' test. The patients didn't know which ones were getting the real drug, the doctors didn't know, and, I'm afraid, nobody knew.'
'Your drug test results show you aren't taking any performance enhancing drugs. Your performance review results shows that maybe you should.'
"Sorry, kiddo. Your old man has to work so you can go to the best drug trials in the country>"
'These drug tests, they're be absolutely confidential, right? I don't want any rumors spread about me.'
"Unfortunately, the urine test counted for half of the grade."
Tags:urine test, urine testing, urine tests, drug test, drug testing, drug tests, grade, grades, report, reports, school report, school reports, report card, report cards, school, marks, mark, marking system, marking system, cheat, cheat the system, cheating the system, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, drug, taking drugs, illegal drug, illegal drugs, steroids, steroid, adhd, add, performance enhancing drug, performance enhancing drugs, stimulant, stimulants
'Half the diabetics were given the new drug and responded well. The other half got a placebo and went into shock.'
'Your tests show you to be drug free ... and three months pregnant.'
"So I guess this probably counts as an adverse event."
Tags:adverse event, adverse events, side effect, side effects, clinical trial, clinical trials, trial, trials, drug test, drug tests, drug testing, pharma, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, big pharma, doctor, invisible man, drug trials, clinical investigation, medical research, ae, fda, clinical investigations, food and drug administration
The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.
'I demand a saliva test!'
'Thank you for verifying your name for us, Doug. We're going to start with some multiple choice questions.'
"I got the job! Let's celebrate - but not too much. I have to wear this ankle bracelet until I pass the three-month probation."
Tags:job search, job searches, hired, probation, ankle bracelet, 3-month probation, privacy rights, draconian, rules, contract, slave labour, labor, worker's rights, take it or leave it, home - office life, drug testing, office, random drug tests, insurance, invasive, prisoner, employee, human resources, white collar crime, background check, references, celebrate, celebrates, party, alcohol, substance abuse, recreational drugs, drug test, employment, drug tests, drug testing
'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'
"I'm afraid you tested positive for catnip"
'The test results are in for our new drug. 9 out of 10 doctors recommended the placebo.'
'Oh, a drug test. That's a relief. I thought you were going to test my ethics.'