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"God, I'll be glad when his genius grant runs out"
"I'm nothing and yet, I'm all I can think about."
'I must warn you, I know tai chi. We can step outside and settle it like men, but it will have to be in slow motion.'
The beer-proof beret!
Paramedic - Paralytic
"No, sir. We're not twins. You're seeing double!"
Charles Darwin - evolution of the species. . . at the cricket.
"You can set your clock by him...remind me to board up the windows by closing time."
Antisocial Behaviour Vigilante.
'Look, it's a pie-eyed warbler!'
'I'll tell you why you're here. Does 'drunk and disorderly' ring any bells?'
'Why didn't you arrest my pint then?'
"Please pay attention as the stewardess demonstrates our new procedure for drunken passengers"
'...Now will you admit you have a drink-problem?!'
An alien with 16 eyes sit innocently at a bar and the scary alien next to him says - 'Hey buddy, are you lookin' at me?!'
'(Yawn!) That you Mabel? I must confess I can't remember making my way home last night!'
'Okay, I'll come quietly. I can see you've got me surrounded.'
'He's practising responsible underage drinking.'
'He's very responsible at controlling other people's drinking.'
'Excuse me miss, May I have a bite of your sausage?'
'If you were a woman I'd punch you on the nose.'
No Zone: 'Don't know about you, Alf - But I might as well have stayed in with the missus!'
'I thought I told you to wait in the car.'