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Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.
'I must warn you, I know tai chi. We can step outside and settle it like men, but it will have to be in slow motion.'
'You were offensive at the office party again; however in your favour you were impartial and offended every faith, colour and creed.'
'May I photograph you with the camera in my cell phone?'
'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'
The beer-proof beret!
Antisocial Behaviour Vigilante.
'Whoa, whoa, buddy, we don't serve no pickled eggs here.'
'Are you going to the Christmas Party?' - 'I can't make it this year...' - 'That's a pity.' - '...but I did take a photocopy of my arse in advance for the noticeboard.' - 'Oh, you're so organised! Thanks, that's perfect.'
Two Fleas in a Bar
'Ah the 17th March, St. Pratick's Day...'
'Step outside and say that. And I'll stay here and finish my pint.'
'We sell drink cheaply, then make someone else responsible for all the alcoholics.'
'How many times have I told you to not drink and drive?'
'I thought I told you to wait in the car.'
'Great night last night. Can't remember a single thing about it!'
'Would you mind taking our picture please?'
Yacht club: 'Can he call back? Everyone is out getting tattooed!'
'You've had enough to drink when you feel sophisticated and can't pronounce it.'
'Were you out drinking last night?'
Cook au vin
Same again gorgeous.