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"I woke up in a tattoo parlor in Tijuana. You can imagine my surprise."
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"Never get a tattoo when you're drunk and hungry."
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Hunters wait at the bottom of a ski jump ramp.
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"What happens at the holiday office party stays at the holiday office party?"
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"I really hope she's high on something."
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It was after midnight, and the wine had completely taken over.
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"I'm sorry I said that. It was the beer captioning."
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Tortoise and Hedgehog awake from hibernation in same bed after pre hibernation party.
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Some apps are really useful.
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Yacht club: 'Can he call back? Everyone is out getting tattooed!'
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'Did I behave myself last night dear, er, who the hell are you?'
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Alcoholic Violinists
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'You know what it means when you come home to a little affection, a little sympathy?... It means your'e in the wrong house!'
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"Hey, guys, he has the tickets for the Pub Crawl and Skydiving lessons next Wednesday."
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"Don't play the innocent with me! I know it was you who texted my ex last night."
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"Apologies to all contacts, my account was hacked last night by Vodka."
"If you are looking for your clothes, you left them at last night's office party."
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"Boy. . . that was one HELLUVA St. Paddy's Day party, but. . . I just can't shake the feel that I. . ."
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