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'Hello? I need a cab. I'm at a place called...um...looks like RAB or something.'
Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.
"Wow! I must be dreaming!"
Tags:animal, animals, dog, dogs, saint bernard, st. bernard, saint bernards, st. bernards, rescue, rescuing, rescue dogs, rescue dog, barrel, barrels, cask, casks, brandy, alcohol, drink, drinks, drinking, alcoholic, alcoholics, drunk, drunks, snow, deep snow, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, dog trick, tricks, trick, dog tricks, working dog, working dogs, service dog, service dogs, help, aid, dream, dreams, dreaming
"I've read all the great books. They weren't that great."
Tags:ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, ventriloquists dummy, ventriloquist dummy, ventriloquists dummies, ventriloquist's dummy, ventriloquist's dummies, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, addict, addicts, addiction, performer, performers, drinker, drinkers, drunk, drunks, heavy drinker, heavy drinkers, bad habit, bad habits, being sick, sick, throw up, throwing up, vomit, vomiting
Wine stewards without borders
Tags:wine steward, wine stewards, sommelier, sommeliers, without borders, charity, charity work, charities, charitable, aid, giving aid, aiding, help, helping, homelessness, homeless, homeless person, homeless people, drunk, drunks, alcoholic, highbrow, lowbrow, street drinking, winos, wine, wines, wealth divide, wealth divides
"Of course, you see everything from a very special perspective."
Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunken, drunkenly, cry, cries, crying, sob, sobs, sobbing, emotional, emotions, song, songs, singer, singers, singing, identity, identities, couple, couples, identify, identifies, identifying, sad song, sad songs, lonely, loneliness, sad drunk, sad drunks, depressed, depression, depressing, musician, musicians, favorite musician, favourite musician, singer-songwriter, singer-songwriters, tearful, tearfully, tear up, tears up, tearing up
"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."
"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, sobriety test, sobriety tests, field sobriety test, field sobriety tests, drinking, drinking and driving, drunk driving, drunk, drunks, dangerous driving, ballet, ballerina, ballerinas, dance, dances, dancer, dancers, arabesque, arabesques, pirouette, pirouettes, test, tests, testing, alcohol, traffic stop, traffic stops, pulled over, impaired driving, impaired driver, impaired drivers, driving impaired, driving under the influence, dui, duis, high
"I'm sorry. That's just the booze singing."
". . . and then I says to the guy, 'how 'bout I pop you in the nose?' and then he goes. . ."
Tags:silent g, silent gs, orthography, english teacher, english teachers, english lesson, english lessons, english literature, english language, english class, english classes, drunk, drunks, overindulge, overindulging, overindulged, overindulges, chatterbox, silent type, quiet type, silent types, quiet types, drinking companions, gnat
"Another glass of absinth? That's your answer to everything."
Tags:absinth, absinths, spirit, spirits, absinthe, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking your problems, drinker, drinkers, drunk, drunks, problem solver, problem solvers, problem solving, problem solved, shot, shots, drinking your sorrows, drink your sorrows, nag, nags, wife, wives, husband, husbands, answer to everything
"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, weird, strange, unusual, creepy, doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, dating, dates, date, bad date, bad dates, ear, ears, otoscope, otoscopes, auriscope, auriscopes, medical device, medical devices, medical tool, medical tools, exam, exams, examination, examination, inappropriate, bad doctor, bad doctors, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, drunk doctor, drunk doctors
'Steroids are for weenies. Back in my day, they played baseball like real men. . . drunk and bloated.'
'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'
"Pull over and let me drive - you're too drunk to hit anyone."
Tags:drunk, drunks, drunk driving, drunk driver, drunk drivers, hit, hits, hitting, bumpercar, bumpercars, bumper car, bumper cars, carnival, carnivals, carnival ride, carnival rides, amusement park, amusement parks, amusement park ride, amusement park rides, drink driving, drink driver, drink drivers, sober, skill, skills, game of skill, games of skill, take the wheel, takes the wheel, taking the wheel, irresponsible, irresponsibility
"I myself voted against it, Paddy, but if it's the will of the people, I want a divorce."
Tags:divorce, divorcing, divorced, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, alcohol, booze, bar, bars, pub, pubs, beer, beers, cocktail, cocktails, drink, drinks, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drunk, drunks, bartender, bartenders, vote, votes, voter, voters
"So, are you here alone?"
Tags:drunk, drunks, drinking, alcoholic, alcoholics, over the limit, drowning your sorrows, lonely, loneliness, single, singles, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, depressed, depression, misery, miserable
"Sorry, red wine makes Ralph gluten intolerant intolerant."
Tags:gluten intolerance, gluten intolerant, gluten allergy, gluten allergies, food allergy, food allergies, allergic reaction, allergic reactions, drunk, drunks, overindulge, overindulging, overindulged, food fad, food fads, foodie, foodies, intolerant, intolerance, grump, grumps, grumpy, grumpiness, red wine, wine, wines, eating out, rude, rudeness, bad manners, faux pas, attitude problem, attitude problems, bigot, bigoted, bigots, hypersensitive, hypersensitivity
"You wouldn't understand, Muriel. It's a drunk thing."
"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road. And while you're at it I'll have one, too."
"We've had to cancel the koi pond which I never really wanted anyway."
"I'm not sure what I was doing, but, evidently there's no call for it anymore."
Tags:unemployed, unemployment, unskilled work, unskilled labor, unskilled labour, alcohol, booze, bar, bars, pub, pubs, beer, beers, cocktail, cocktails, drink, drinks, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drunk, drunks, bartender, bartenders, laid off, lay off, lay offs, fired, firing, let go, redundant, redundancy
"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."
Tags:1 corinthians 13:11, bible quote, bible quotes, new testament, gospel, gospels, sunday school, sunday schools, bible teaching, bible teachings, drunk, drunks, drunkard, drunkards, drinking problem, drinking problems, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, childishness, childish ways, pub, pubs, bar, bars, growing up, rites of passage, growing pains