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They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.
'I wish I had learned more trivia.'
'I'd always hoped that I'd leave this mortal coil surrounded by my beautiful, loving family,,, so can some of you ugly ones move to the back'
God rolls dice
Tags:roll of the dice, rolling dice, roll dice, die, god, gods, man in the sky, giant hand, giant hands, random, randomness, chance, death, died, dying, die, luck, lucky, unlucky, no luck, gamble, gambling, gambling with lives, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, corona virus pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, flu, flus, illness, sickness, virus, viruses
"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, pearly gates, pearl gates, the pearly gates, st peter, st. peter, saint peter, sins, judgement, judgements, judgement days, dying, afterlife, the afterlife, after life, the after life, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemers, blaspheme, blaspheming, let off, let-off, lucky escape, lucky escapes
"Then I met Pamela who was drop-dead gorgeous."
Tags:heaven, angel, angels, dying, dead, complement, complements, attractiveness, attractive people, attractive person, attractive women, attractive women, drop dead, dropped dead, dropped dead, drop dead gorgeous, drop-dead gorgeous, beauty standards, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, life story, life stories, attraction, beauty, beautiful woman, beautiful women
"Please - no more specialists."
"That's where the celebrities are."
Tags:celebrity, celebrities, levels of hell, levels of heaven, hierarchy, hierarchies, inequality, cant take it with you, can't take it with you, privilege, privileges, rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died
"Well, at least he died doing what he loved best - flippin' the bird at some eighteen-wheeler on I-95."
Tags:relationships, marriage, death, psychology, anger, autos, driving, men, masculine, masculinity, toxic masculinity, die, dies, dying, flip off, flips off, flipping off, flip the bird, flips the bird, flipping the bird, eighteen wheeler, eighteen wheelers, bad idea, bad ideas, dangerous driving, dangerous driver, dangerous drivers, road rage, mankoff
Grim Reaper goes grocery shopping
Self-Help Books For The Newly Dead
"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, noir, crime thriller, crime fiction, criminal, criminals, on the run, detective, detectives, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, horror, old school, old school horror, film, films, movie, movies, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death
"Damn, looks like that snotty kid of Ben and Edna's is coming up the tunnel of light."
Tags:heaven, heaven’s gate, afterlife, afterlives, after-life, after-lives, gates of heaven, death, dead, dying, child, children, family, families, family conflict, family conflicts, black sheep, black sheep of the family, brat, brats, bratty children, relatives, relative, snotty kid, snotty kids, snotty children, snotty child, there goes the neighborhood, cloud city, tunnel of light, tunnel of lights, white light, disappointment, disappointing
"It's courtesy of the gentleman seated at the other end of the bar, ma'am."
"Ironically, it's sickle cell."
"For the love of God, is there a doctor in the house?"
Tags:performance, performer, performers, talent, talents, talent show, talent shows, ventriloquist, ventriloquists, ventriloquism, ventriloquy, voice, voices, puppet, puppets, puppetry, puppet master, puppet masters, act, acting, dead, dying, sick, sickness, ill, illness, poison, poisoning, poisoned, poisons, doctor, doctors, in the house, audience, audiences, alive, come alive
"I hear we've been short-listed for extinction."
"Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy."
Tags:frenzy, frenzied, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, die too young, dying too young, dead too young, fantasy, lament, laments, lamenting, mourn, mourns, mourning, mourner, mourners, too old, die too old, dying too old, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens
"Are you all right?"
"If I have to ask permission for every bite, dearest, we'll be mating all day."
Tags:relationship, relationships, consent, consenting consents, feminism, feminists, feminist, #metoo, metoo, me too, mantis, praying mantis, praying mantises, mantises, mate, mates, consensual, permission, reproduction, insect, insects, animal, animals, decapitate, relationship, relationships, death, dying, died
Monuments 'n' Stuff
Tags:storefront, storefronts, name, names, monument, monuments, grave, graves, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, undertaker, undertakers, mortuary, mortuaries, dark humor, black humor, dark humour, black humour, tombstone, tombstones, respect for the dead, show respect, shows respect, showing respect, consumer, consumer culture, consumerism, death, die, dies, dying, retailer, retailers, window shop, window shops, window shopping, modern life, modern times
"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
Tags:effort, efforts, death, deaths, die, dies, deadly, escape, vaudeville, song-and-dance, grim reapers, grim-reapers, grim reaper, grim-reaper, audience, audiences, dying, dies, cheating death, cheats death, performance, performed, barbershop music, barbershop, disappointed, disappointed, fail, failed, effort, efforts
"People tend to take the news better when I bring Princess Cupcake."