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"First I was prematurely gray. Now I'm prematurely dead."
A man sits on coffin-shaped chairs in the smoking area.
Safe on campus.
"I've gone over your figures and come up with an achievable strategy for you. It involves a delayed retirement and an early death."
'Are you worried about getting old?'
'Once we baby boomers kark it, all the good jobs will go to you lot.'
'That's what I'd call corporate identity! Not only did your husband make great profits, he also saved me from having to pay a bonus and a pension!'
'Maybe I'll die earlier because I drink, smoke and eat too much. But at least, I'll die happily!'
'Sorry it's earlier than expected. Just a clerical error, I'm afraid...'
'My wife died early... It was 2.50 in the morning...'