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'It was an early-retirement offer I couldn't turn down. They threw a pile of money my way, asked me to disappear in a puff of smoke, and before they could change their minds, I was gone!'
"The good news is thet a number of GPs have agree to take action on a number of dangerous 'lifestyle' issues..." "And the bad news?..." "They've decided the best way to reduce their risk is by retiring!"
'It's a questionnaire asking why you're interested in early retirement.'
"If somebody's listening to this conversation, I need a job."
'Your bookkeeping skills are no longer needed. Tony will now take you for a ride on which he will discuss our early retirement plan.'
Tags:mafia, mob, the mob, mobs, gang, gangster, gangsters, gangs, mob boss, boss, the boss, bosses, gang leader, leader, leaders, fire, fired, firing, early retirement, bookkeeper, bookkeeping, whack, whacking, whacked, discuss, kill, killed, kills, killing, force, forced, forcing, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
'The fact that you've aged 10 years in the last 6 months isn't accelerated depreciation, it's accelerated decrepidation.'
"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."
'And this last chart illustrates why none of you are here anymore. Questions?'
'Now, if we stick to our financial plan, I can retire at 55 and you at 87.'
Dave talks about the life as a Paramedic...
"He didn't exactly ask for a divorce-he offered me an early-retirement package."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, divorce, divorcing, separate, separating, split, splitting, marriage, marriages, married life, retire, retirement, early retirement, retirement package, early-retirement, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, money, property, properties, settlement, settlements, alimony
"He offered me early retirement,"
Tags:child, children, youth, youngster, youngsters, kid, kids, retirement, retire, retiring, retired, retires, early retirement, old at heart, office, offices, workplace, workplaces, mature too fast, maturing too fast, matures too fat, matured too fast, grow up too fast, grows up too fast, grew up too fast, growing up too fast
'He quickly became irreplaceable when we saw the size of his severance package.'
'No golden parachute, but our severence package includes witness protection.'
"We'd like you to take early retirement, retroactive to the day you started working here."
He was forced to take early retirement.
'And, lastly, I'd like to thank Chuck for his years of service. He'll be leaving the company next month to spend more time with his cash and cash equivalents.'
"It's been 300 years. I think I'm read to retire."
"You have to think long-term. You can't afford to be old yet."
Slot machine - Early retirement.
'Oh, not much. Well, still dabbling a bit in commodities futures.'
"When he decided to take an early retirement, I took an early divorce."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, old age, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, divorce, divorces, divorcing, split, splits, splitting, separation, separations, separating, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, retirement, early retirement, retiring, retiring early, retiree, retirees, early, always together, never apart, sick of each other
'Don't worry, Mary, the first 30 years of practicing law are the hardest.'
'Sorry, you don't qualify for the early retirement package. You're too old.'
'I know I retired just last week, Mr. Hartwell, but could I have my job back? My wife fired me.'