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"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"
"Is this by chance a private party?"
"I said, 'How's the trial separation going for you?'"
"I'm fine eating alone with a woman who is not my wife, at least since the body cam."
'There's a fly in my soup.'
"There's nothing wrong with the food. I just needed a little attention."
"When you've concluded the entertainment portion of your evening, sir, I'll be happy to bring you your entrée."
"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."
"Will you be dining with others tonight, or just the company of your smartphone?"
'Now I don't have to eat alone.'
'Just because I'm eating alone doesn't mean you should suggest the 'loser' special. But I'll take it.'
There are worse things than dining alone. Like dining with the bogeyman.
'Grandpa drove taxi forty years. He's not used to eating with the family.'
'You may hang up if you want. I just don't want to eat alone in public without a cell phone in my hand.'
"Table for four please,I'll be eating alone this evening."
"I'll have the lonely bastard platter for one please!"
"Do you care to blend in at the bar while you eat alone, or stick out like a sore thumb in the dining room?"