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Bull Riding on the Stock Market
'That's it! That's the chart we've been looking for.'
'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'
'Our new savings account isn't very popular. There's been no interest in it.'
"Sorry, we don't have your money anymore but if you want to see some photos of it we've taken over the years check out our website."
Company Merges/Major Layoffs/We Go Belly Up. . .
Family Car to Feed.
'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'
"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."
Tags:wall street, crash, crashes, crashing, downturn, downturns, economic downturn, economic downturns, newscaster, newscasters, newscasting, economic forecast, economic forecasts, recession, recessions, great recession, great recessions, investment, investments, investor, investors, investing, reporter, reporters
"Mr. Happy wants to remind us that tragedy plus time equals comedy."
"Let's just issue last year's annual report and see if anyone notices."
Tags:downturn, downturns, profit, profits, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, annual report, annual reports, profit report, profit reports, ceo, ceos, chief exec, chief execs, chief executive, chief executives, shareholder, shareholders, investor, investors, cover up, cover ups, cover-up, cover-ups, coverup, coverups
Bank - Going out of business sale!
Tags:business, depression, economy, recession, going out of business, fire sale, fire sales, sale, sales, bank, banks, banking, depressions, recessions, economic downturn, economic downturns, too big to fail, tbtf, lose business, loses business, losing business, big bank, big banks, big banking, mankoff
'And a final 'Thank-you' to our guest speaker! Hey, you sure helped us see our business problems in a different light...'
'Escape? Are you serious. In this economy?'
"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."
Tags:anecdote, anecdotes, speech, speeches, presentation, presentations, presenting, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, corporate environment, depressing, depressed, depression, morbidly, morbid, economic downturn, economic downturns, profit warning, profit warnings, downturn, downturns, bad mood, bad moods
Businessman Cut Down by Monthly Reports
'Good thing I'm wearing my adult diapers.'
"I'll take one more question, from the reporter in the back reading the job listings."
"In the light of the current financial position management has decided to cancel the Christmas party but. . .you can still come in and use the photocopier to photocopy your bottoms."
'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'
Things will turn around eventually... Meanwhile....
'The way things are going in the building trade we are never going to be part of a demolition project in our life time.'
'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.
'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'
"Well, I'm sure that Alan Greenspan's mother is very proud."
Tags:alan greenspan, chairman of the federal reserve, federal reserve, chair of the federal reserve, economist, economists, economics, business news, financial news, financial report, financial reports, stock market, stock markets, proud parent, proud parents, parental pride, economic downturn, economic downturns, recession, recessions, economic policy