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Bull Riding on the Stock Market
'That's it! That's the chart we've been looking for.'
'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'
'Our new savings account isn't very popular. There's been no interest in it.'
"Sorry, we don't have your money anymore but if you want to see some photos of it we've taken over the years check out our website."
Company Merges/Major Layoffs/We Go Belly Up. . .
"Bad news on Wall Street today, as the bottom fell out of the market, the sides collapsed, and the top blew away."
'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'
Family Car to Feed.
"Mr. Happy wants to remind us that tragedy plus time equals comedy."
Bank - Going out of business sale!
'And a final 'Thank-you' to our guest speaker! Hey, you sure helped us see our business problems in a different light...'
'Escape? Are you serious. In this economy?'
Businessman Cut Down by Monthly Reports
"I am reminded of a morbidly depressing anecdote. . ."
'Good thing I'm wearing my adult diapers.'
"I'll take one more question, from the reporter in the back reading the job listings."
"In the light of the current financial position management has decided to cancel the Christmas party but. . .you can still come in and use the photocopier to photocopy your bottoms."
Things will turn around eventually... Meanwhile....
'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'
'The way things are going in the building trade we are never going to be part of a demolition project in our life time.'
'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.
'It's a tax refund. There's a note attached asking us not to cash it before next week.'
"Remember the good old days, when all we had to worry about was a dollar-sixty-a-pound sirloin?"