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"The Feds have authorized me to leave your child behind."
"If we have ten students, and no child is left behind, how may students will go to college?"
'It'll mean I won't have to see the kids during our long periods of recess.'
'I'm in favor of great teachers - of hiring them. I love teachers...of horse ballet.'
"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."
Education! Education! Education!
Gender equality: step up to a level playing field.
"All grammar schools ever taught me was when to put an M on the end of WHO - which I've never done!"
'50% of respondents say yes, 40% say no, and 35% are undecided about whether citizens need to be better in Maths.'
The New Schools Policy In Full.
'Cameron's old school is nearly 600 years old. You don't hear him complaining that nobody built him a new one!'
"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"
'Those Labour education policies...'
Labour - Building schools for the future....to pay for.
'Blimey - they're not bringing back corporal punishment?'
"If I'm consistently underperforming, shouldn't I be getting some targeted support?"
"Your education is incredibly valuable, which is why we are selling the school to an offshore hedge fund."
"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"
"This is our needs assessment, and you'll notice on the back that I've also attached our wants assessment."