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"I know we didn't accomplish anything, but that's what meetings are for."
Tags:business meeting, business meetings, waste of times, wastes of time, wasting time, time waster, time wasters, accomplishment, accomplishments, accomplish, accomplishes, accomplishing, unproductive, manager, managers, boardroom, boardrooms, boardroom meeting, boardroom meetings, meeting, meetings, corporate culture, executive, executives, corporation, corporations, faceless corporation, interruption, interruptions, interrupting, work flow, efficient, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, restructure, restructures, restructuring
"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."
Tags:market, wall street, market forces, efficiency, free market, free markets, marriage problem, marriage problems, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, inefficient, marriages, marriage trouble, marriage troubles, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, efficient, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, cut costs, cutting costs, modern marriage, modern marriages, mankoff
'The good news is that we've created six new jobs...and the better news is that they're all yours.'
Six people walk one dog.
Tags:incompetent, incompetence, dog walker, dog walkers, dog walking, inefficient, inefficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, redundant, redundancy, useless, uselessness, too many cooks, waste of energy, wastes of energy, dog, dogs, canine, canines, pooch, pooches, look after, looked after, leash, leashes, lead, leads
"Mr. Sherman, you hired our team of management consultants to stremline your enterprise, and that is precisely what we are doing."
Tags:streamline, streamlines, streamlining, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, expertise, expert, experts, management consultant, management consultants, mob, mobs, mob hit, mob hits, mafia, mafia hit, mafia hits, consulting firm, consulting firms, shoot, shoots, shooting, shootings, kill, kills, killing, killings, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, outside help, consultant, consultants, consulting firm, consulting firms, brutal, firing, firings, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, layoff, layoffs, laid off
'Of course it's efficient - it's a flowchart.'
"We'll find the money for that. My guy is on it right now."
Tags:metal detector, metal detectors, detectorist, detectorists, metal detection, consultant, consultants, specialist, specialists, budget, budgets, company budget, company budgets, find money, finding money, find the money, finding the money, expert, experts, expertise, area of expertise, efficient, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, finances, corporation, corporations, corporate budget, corporate budgets
"We're not that well organized, but we know where everybody is."
Tags:organized, organization, organization skill, organization skills, organisation skill, organisation skills, disorganized, disorganised, disorganisation, disorganization, slob, slobs, slovenly, justification, justifications, justify, justifies, justifying, mess, messes, messy, messiness, file, files, filing cabinet, filing cabinets, inefficient, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, unorganized, unorganised, desk, desks, office desk, office desks, sea of papers, lost
"In an effort to boost production we are implementing this new plan to motivate you."
Tags:fire, fires, firing, firings, boost productivity, boosting productivity, don't let the door hit you on the way out, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, boost production, boosts production, implement, implementing, implementation, business plan, business plans, layoff, layoffs, laid off, lay off, lay offs, corporate culture
"Dadburnit, another one got away. If either of you have any ideas on how we can make this posse
Tags:western, westerns, hobby horse, hobby horses, cowboy, cowboys, outlaw, outlaws, old west, posse, posses, outlaw gang, outlaw gangs, criminal, criminals, horse, horses, horse rider, horse riders, productive, productivity, increase productivity, increasing productivity, efficiency expert, efficiency experts
"The efficiency expert finally showed up for his appointment. Should I send him in?"
Tags:efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, expert, experts, expertise, disorganized, disorganised, unorganised, unorganized, organization expert, organizations experts, organisation expert, organisation experts, appointment, appointments, hypocrite, hypocrites, ironic, irony, downsize, downsizing
'The efficiency experts we hired will need an extra week to finish their report.'
EFFICIENCY EXPERT, 'You should sell thd whole business and go on welfare.'
"I've created a device that converts cat food directly into cat hair thereby eliminating the middle man!"
'Our efficiency expert's only recommendation was to continue his contract.'
'Better head down to the lobby, Jenkins. It seems our new turn-around specialist is stuck in revolving door.'
"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month!"
Tags:change, changes, resist, resists, resisting, resistance, change in management, changes in management, meeting, meetings, business meeting, business meetings, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastination, put off, putting off, puts off, business consultant, business consultants, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, accept, accepts, accepting, acceptance
'For your idea that saves the company 500,000, I'm awarding you this certificate of appreciation,'
'As a consultant, my job is to speak to you as if I knew how your business worked.'
'Training new employees is costly so I decided to save the company money by not training them at all.'
"It's from corporate. They need us to cut operating expenses even more."
Tags:operating cost, operating costs, cost-cutting measure, cost-cutting measures, restructure, restructures, restructuring, austerity, austerity measure, austerity measures, efficiency, efficiency expert, efficiency experts, operating expense, operating expenses, bare bones, cut down, cuts down, cutting down, smoke signal, smoke signals
"You have reached Efficiency Consultants. All our agents are busy now. Why aren't you?"
'Get with it, Dave! Cubicles are the new barrels!'
'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'
'That's a bucket load of cash saved, warrants a bonus don't you think!'