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"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
Tags:effort, efforts, death, deaths, die, dies, deadly, escape, vaudeville, song-and-dance, grim reapers, grim-reapers, grim reaper, grim-reaper, audience, audiences, dying, dies, cheating death, cheats death, performance, performed, barbershop music, barbershop, disappointed, disappointed, fail, failed, effort, efforts
"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."
Tags:agent, agents, sports agent, sports agents, percentage, percentages, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, player, players, representative, representatives, greed, greedy, greediness, give it your all, giving it your all, effort, efforts, money, 110%, fee, fees, bilk, bilks, bilking, overcharge, overcharges, overcharging, surcharge, surcharges, hidden fee, hidden fees, hidden cost, hidden costs
"Evan and I have an open relationship, but, really, who has the energy?"
'All options are on the table. That includes defriending on Facebook.'
"Let's go with the farm-raised salmon tonight."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bear, bears, fish, salmon, salmons, food, farm-raised, meal, meals, meal planning, dinner, dinners, wet, soaking, soaked, starving, hungry, difficult, challenging, hunting, hunter, hunters, fisherman, fishermen, fishing, angler, anglers, angling, catching fish, effort, efforts, farm, farms, farming, farmer, farmers, fresh fish
'Are you sure you tried hard enough to be on time?'
The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon
Tags:spoof, spoofs, parody, parodies, sarcasm, sarcastic, saint, saints, saintly, modern, modern life, modern world, modernity, tech, technology, religion, religious, religious imagery, sainthood, routine, daily routine, routines, pay it forward, inconvenient, inconvenience, inconveniences, inconvenienced, petty, pettiness, effort, efforts, hard, hard work, do your best
'We're being paid minimum wage so do only a minimum amount of work.'
"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."
Tags:baseball, base ball, national, national anthem, anthem, us, usa, audience, audiences, the game, the big game, live sport, sport, sports, tv sport, effort, efforts, low effort, sing, singing, forgetting the words, lyrics, pretend, pretending, pretence, pretense, pretenses, star spangled banner, star-spangled banner, american pride, national pride, national identity, cultural identity, commit, non committal, non-committal
"Are you sure this is worth the effort?"
'Those are interesting questions Timmy. I suggest you ask your search engine.'
'I used to lead by example, but it was too much work.'
'I'm currently looking to hire a workaholic who feels the good job he does is compensation enough.'
'I like to keep busy. It makes the day go faster.'
"Flowers in a lobby are good P.R."
Tags:flower, flowers, design, low effort, effort, efforts, decor, minimal, minimalism, decorating, decorations, ornament, ornaments, public relations, pr, p.r., p.r, public relation, lobby, lobbies, foyer, foyers, reception, receptions, receptionist, vase, vases, floral arrangement, flower arrangement, offices, office, businessmen, business, suit, suits, men
'Did I put on pantyhose for this?'
'You just gave an hour long report on why you weren't prepared to give your five minute report...'
"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"
Tags:try too hard, tries too hard, trying too hard, effort, efforts, put effort in, putting effort in, date, dates, unimpress, unimpressed, bore, bores, boring, nice guy, nice guys, first date, first dates, date, dates, dating, single life, play it cool, plays it cool, playing it cool, pickup artist, pickup artists, pua, puas, pick-up artist, pick-up artists, relax, relaxes, relaxing, tip, tips, dating tip, dating tips
'I posted a bedtime story on your homepage. Enjoy and good night!'
'As your lawyer, I'm doing my very best to get you out of here. Like you always told me...no one can do better than their best. Right Mom?'
"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."
Tags:salmon, masturbate, masturbates, masturbating, effort, efforts, mate, mates, mating, swim upstream, swims upstream, swimming upstream, swim, swims, swimming, difficult, difficulty, not worth it, vow, vows, vowing, lazy, laziness, can't be bothered, spawn, spawns, spawning, journey, journeys, long journey, long journeys, fish
'It's not your work Hannon - it's your attitude.'
"Of course, if this one flops we're done."
Tags:flop, flops, plan z, fail-safe, fail-safes, plan, plans, planning, plan b, hierarchy, hierarchies, incompetent, incompetence, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate culture, executive, executives, planning commission, planning commissions, last ditch, last ditch effort, last ditch efforts, effort, efforts, try, tries, trying
'Pretend to think.'
'The great thing about being your own boss is that you can work whenever you want - as long as you always want to work.'