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'I forget, is this my cell phone, PDA, Ipod, GPs, or Ipad?'
James Bond: Senior Years.
I can be upgraded can you?
'As a steam enthusiast, a stair lift wasn't enough for Martin, he installed his own funicular railway.'
Home for retired Jazzmen.
Home for Seniors.
'You know what they say about growing older . . .'
'...time you had your ears syringed?'
'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'
Path of Life.
'Of course you have crow's feet - what'd you expect?'
'On average a woman lives seven years longer than a man. So when I'm 80, I'm having a sex change.'
'It's his pacemaker. h3e's not supposed to go near the refrigerator.'
'Lotsa Luck, Kiddo!'
Out of Order.
'There's no justice. By the time I got the upper hand, I had arthritis in it.'
"How did you live to be a hundred, Pops?"
Tags:old-age, old age, elderly, elderliness, old aged, old-aged, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old age pensioner, old-age pensioner, old-age pensioners, old age pensioners, lie, lies, liar, liars, deception, deceptions, grandparent, grandparents, grandchild, grandkid, grandkids, grandpa, grandpa, gramp, gramps, dishonest, dishonesty
Living Longer Magazine.
"What have you done? I came in to have my wrinkles removed, instead you given me big breasts!"
'When you live 900 years, you find that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren never come to visit.'
"Enjoy your retirement. I'm sure you will survive all of us. Hahaha, just kidding!"
'There were mitigating circumstances...it was the first time anyone called me 'elderly', I was in a stupor.'
"I always preferred older women but I've outlived them all..."