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"I plan to eliminate poverty by taxing it."
'I like hopey, changey stuff myself, but it doesn't make good collateral.'
"Are you sure there's no other way to get people to pay attention to your election speech?"
"The President wants a calm, measured, evenhanded speech that kicks some serious butt."
"I support business. I support labor. I support taxes. I support loopholes...in short, I'm pro-everything!"
"Get me everything on this that doesn't involve facts."
I did it...We did it!
"Ask yourself . . . Are you better off now that you were four years ago?"
"Let us begin the difficult work of understanding the challenges of today, so we can formulate the excuses for tomorrow."
Election Speech Writer
Political Candidate: 'I seek public office because I couldn't make it in the private sector...'
If elected, I promise to keep a full head of hair
'If elected, it will do wonders for my self-esteem!'
'And I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say... LINE!'
"I'm not saying you're not statesmanlike - I'm just saying that you confuse some of the people most of the time."