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Translating Contractor to English
DIY Electrics reader is being followed by the Grim Reaper.
"You can replace the tank, switch to natural gas, or huddle in a corner and cry as you ask yourself why you ever thought buying a house was a good idea."
Tags:new house, new houses, property, workman, workmen, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, electric, electrics, electrician, electricians, option, options, expense, expensive, expenses, replacement, replacements, advice, advising, consult, consultation, consultations, improvement, improvements, work, work done, cry, crying
"I'm here to fix the lasagne."
'There's someone here I'd like you to meet. He's very well-connected.'
Dean liked to pill this stunt whenever he had a new partner.
With his illustrious career in the circus over, Alfonzo the Great settled into a job with the New England Power Company.
Tags:circus, circuses, act, acts, actor, actors, perform, performs, performance, performances, performer, performers, tight rope, tight ropes, walk, walks, walker, walkers, balance, balances, balancing, balancer, balancers, electrician, electricians, electricity, electrics, wire, wires, close to home
Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.
'It's not an electrical problem. Something's wrong with your corporate DNA!'
'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'
"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"
'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'
Oh dear. The part that needs replacing has been discontinued because the huge demand for it kept the factory from making other parts.
"We just got the electrician's bill for that work he did...talk about a shock!"
'That's perfect Barry, hold it right there!'
'I think I've found our overload.'
'... and power surges and outages don't affect this baby one bit.'
At the Goldilocks Air Conditioning Emporium units are labeled: 'Too Big,' 'Too Small,' and 'Just Right.'
Instead of hunting gazelle tonight, let's call maintenance, say we have a short and eat the electrician when he arrives.
'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'
'Allow me. After all, I'm planning to be an electrician.'
Taking chances with electricity
'We can't rearrange the furniture...I'll never get this mess hooked up again!'
'We could have an overload somewhere.'
I can never remember which colour is 'live'. - 'I wish there was a simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it! Lick it! Lick it!' - 'I wish there was a safe simple way to tell.' - 'Lick it gingerly.' -