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'See kids? This is a LETTER. A LETTER. Back when I was a kid, people would send these all the time. There was no such thing as e-mail.'
'It was inevitable, I suppose. They've gone and virtualized the coffee in the 'Cloud'.'
"You don't sound anything like your e-mail."
'For faster service next time use Email. Thank you!'
'A computer virus infected my work e-mails. Now they are all sent to the junk folder and are automatically deleted. I have never had so much free time.'
'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'
'Oh, no thanks. Just mark it as SPAM.'
"Can't these people read? I put a sign saying 'No Solicitors' on my website, and I'm still getting spam."
"I liked it better when they were just reading our emails."
"Grandma's pretty old. Will she be able to read something not written in cursive?"
Be careful about who you allow to access your email.
'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'
Have your emails opened here - 10c each.
"Incorrect postage, wrong zip code...it's your type we encourage to use email!"
Man in US Post Office sees slot marked 'send'
'I just realized the 'e' in 'email' must stand for eternal.'
'The doctor will see you shortly. He has a few hundred email jokes he has to forward.'
'Dear Loser: You have been selected to receive no spam.'
'Wow, look! You have 5 new unread emails!'
Your e-mail in the computer
'King Ethelred was known to the saxons as 'unrede' - because he never checked his emails!'
You've got mail. (computer mailman)
"Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from email..."