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"It's elephants who never forget. Elephant seals forget all the time."
"OK, so you've won the mating fight, but will you please allow me visiting rights to see my kids?"
"Mating fights! Well, consider yourself lucky! Just imagine how embarrassing it is when we have to perform mating dances..."
"OK, before we start fighting, I'm warning you: five of the females are nasty, three snore, six are lazy and pretty much all of them are bad mothers..."
"I've found a new way to get rid of rivals, son. I start reading poetry and they just go away without a fight..."
"It's not a moustache kiddo: It's nasal hair..."
'He's at this awkward teenage stage when your body doesn't grow evenly...'
'It was love at first sight Mum: Who could resist such a handsome fellow ?'
'I'm so jealous: I would love to have a nose like that...'
'You'll love this place - the best fish restaurant in London.'
'Mum, they're making fun of me at school because I have a small nose...'
'Practical joke amongst elephant-seals.'
"Hey, stop that! You're not fighting fair: no tickling!"
"Seriously? You want to challenge me now? Can't you at least wait until I've finished my morning coffee and today's newspaper?"
"You know what, no need to fight, I'll let you win today so you can deal with them tomorrow: it's Valentine's Day..."
"So far so good, Bill's reverse psychology was working: no contenders had challenged him..."