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'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'
'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'
How Santa really finds out which reindeer can fly.
"For kids who think they can be naughty again after Christmas, I'm the Re-Po Elf."
Tags:christmas, xmas, yule, noel, elf, elves, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, troublesome, kid, kids, child, children, behavior, behaviour, bad behavior, bad behaviour, repo, re-po, repossession, repo man, repo men, repossession agent, repossession agents, naughty or nice, santa's list
Christmas Group Therapy.
Tags:group therapy, therapy, group, groups, christmas, christmases, santa claus, santa, snowman, snowmen, snow, reindeer, reindeers, elf, elves, christmas elf, christmas elves, believe in myself, dead end job, treat, treats, treatment, treating, treated, shrink, psychiatrist, the flying mccoys, flying mccoys
Santa's Little Enablers
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, saint nick, saint nicholas, st nick, st nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, enabler, enablers, addict, addicts, enabling, addiction, addictions, drink problem, drink problems, alcohol problem, alcohol problems, elf, elves, santa's little helpers, destructive behaviour, destructive behavior
"And here's where we make toys for bad little boys and girls!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, elf, elves, naughty list, naughty lists, naughty or nice, toy, toys, making toys, north pole, bad list, bad lists, lump of coal, lumps of coal, santa claus is coming to town, naughty child, naughty children, torture, tortures, torture device, torture devices, christmas, x-mas, xmas, christmas season, holiday season
December 26th . . . The Returns
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa claus, santa, elf, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elves, north pole, december, december 26th, december 26, the day after christmas, boxing day, return, returns, returning, exchange, exchanges, unwanted gifts, unwanted presents, gift, gifts, present, presents, shopping, christmas chopping, store, stores, shop, shops, sack, sacks, consumerism, santa's helper, santa's helpers
"It's from Santa, and it goes way, way beyond jolly."
Tags:email, emails, obscene, e-mail, e-mails, e-mailing, emailing, santa, santa claus, father christmas, elf, elves, inappropriate, workshop, workshops, sexual harassment, harassment, harass, harasses, metoo, #metoo, unwanted, unasked for, obscene photo, obscene photos, obscene photograph, obscene photographs
"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, elf, elves, santa's workshop, the north pole, business, business strategy, business strategies, charity, giveaway, giveaways, fund, funds, funding, money, finances, holidays, holidays, gift, gifts, present, presents, toy, toys, consumerism, financial strategy, financial strategies, benefit, benefits
Folk o' the Wee
Tags:fairy, fairies, fairytale, fairytales, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, elf, elves, pixie, pixies, wee folk, mythical creature, mythical creatures, mythical being, mythical beings, sidhe, irish myth, irish myths, minion, minions, fairy court, fairy courts, sprite, sprites, folklore
"Where did we go wrong, Mother? Where did we go wrong?"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, mrs. claus, mother christmas, santa's wife, elf, elves, santa's workshop, the north pole, weapon, weapons, arms, bomb, bombs, nuclear weapon, nuclear weapons, tank, tanks, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, war, wars, conflict, conflict, violence, military, militarisation, militarization, arms race, armaments, modern life
Tags:security, security guard, security, metal detector, scanner, body scanners, santa, santa claus, father christmas, christmas, christmas time, santas grotto, santa's grotto, modern life, modern attitudes, mall santa, mall, malls, shopping malls, shopping mall, shopping center, shopping centers, shopping centre, shopping centre, full body scanner, security body scanner, over cautious, overcautious, elf, elves, santa's elves, santas elves, north pole, the north pole
Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'
'I didn't say to hook up the 'rain gear'!'
"Not 'Miracle on 34th Street' again?"
Tags:christmas, xmas, noel, yule, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, mrs. claus, santa's wife, elf, elves, santa's helper, santa's helpers, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., movies, movie, film, films, christmas movie, christmas movies, christmas film, christmas films, seasonal, crying, teary-eyed, sad, sad movie, sad movies, sad film, sad films, again, same film, same movie
'I'm perfect for the job... I've got huge ears; tons of candy for stockings, and, in a pinch, I can deliver to everywhere in the world in one night.'
"What a Christmas! First the North Pole melts, then all the elves get laid off."
Chinese New Year
Santa's Jolly Ole Complaint Resolution Call Center
"Looks like an inside job."
Tags:elf, elves, chirstmas, holiday, holidays, toy, toys, toy maker, toy makers, workshop, santa's workshop, father christmas, santa, santa claus, st nick, st nicholas, fbi, cia, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, murder, murderer, kill, killer, killers, murderers, inside job, death by candy, stab, stabbed, candy, candy cane, police, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, investigate, investigation, dead, death, dying, died, die, crime scene
"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."
Tags:santa, santa claus, mrs. claus, sleigh, sleighs, santa's sleigh, santa's sledge, sledge, sledges, sled, sleds, santa's sled, animal, animals, reindeer, elf, elves, santa's elves, helper, helpers, christmas, yule, noel, xmas, bunny, bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, fox, foxes, goat, goats, cow, cows, chicken, chickens, sheep, pig, pigs, business, businesses, company, companies, employer, employers, employee, employees, management, manager, mangers, government, politics, politically correct, correct, equal, equality, equal-opportunity, equal-opportunity employer, equal-opportunity employers, equal opportunity, equal opportunity employer, equal opportunity employers, assortment, assortments, affirmative action, discrimination, prejudice, positive action, employment equity
"Any time Christmas falls on the full moon—we've got problems!"
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, elf, elves, reindeer, santa's workshop, the north pole, horror, fantasy, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, werewolf, werewolves, full moon, full moons, bad luck, problem, problems, halloween, hallowe'en, all hallows eve
"Still, this beats my old job working at Wal-Mart."
Tags:retail, working in retail, christmas time, christmas, christmas job, christmas jobs, elf, elves, santas elves, santa's elves, santas workshop, santa's workshop, bad job, bad jobs, job satisfaction, new job, new jobs, low standards, modern life, modern attitudes, low pay, minimum wage, underpaid, bad management, working conditions, working hours, workers rights
"Try rolling on the ground! Roll around on the ground!"
Tags:christmas, noel, yule, xmas, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, elf, elves, santa's helper, santa's helpers, chimney, chimneys, going down the chimney, fireplace, fireplaces, smoke, fire, hearth, hearths, on fire, fire safety, roll, stop drop and roll, roll on the ground, advice, firemen, fireman, firewoman, firewomen, firefighter, firefighters, safety, fire hazard, fire hazards, dangerous, risky