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DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC ASSISTANCE, 'I've been getting regular welfare checks for the past sixteen years, and now, all of a sudden, you say I'm INELIGIBLE?'
'My best attribute is right before I'm eligible for health benefits I just disappear.'
'I need to see your latest energy bill. You may be eligible for a discount.'
'Good news: after the first thousand years we become eligible for a stock option programme!'
'You know, none of you are eligible to be president.'
'Eligible for parole ...? Tell me, what part of consecutive life sentences don't you understand?'
'You're eligible for our new card if you have a pulse.'
Plenty more eligible bachelors in the sea.
'Quite frankly, I don't know how this sweet, gentle, multi-millionaire husband of yours puts up with it.'
"He's Britains most eligible Spatula."