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'Well, the magic of Christmas is officially over, unless it includes waking up to a septic tank backup.'
Tags:family life, family-life, septic tank, septic tanks, plunger, plungers, plumber, plumbers, plumbing, christmas morning, christmas mornings, xmas, magic, festive spirit, festive spirits, seasonal spirit, emergency plumber, emergencies, disenchantment, disenchanted, holidays, real life adventures
'It's out new method for determining who we should treat first. We take people in order of how loud they scream.'
'It's ok, I'm a florist'
"O.K., I'm sitting. What is it?"
Tags:sit, sits, sitting, trick, tricks, dog, dogs, dog trick, dog tricks, emergency, emergencies, emergency phone call, emergency phone calls, sit down, sitting downs, phone call, phone calls, obedience, obedient, obedience training, bad news, bearer of bad news, message, messages, messenger, messengers, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers
In case of fire, do not use elevators... except for Larry.
"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, youth, ging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, signs of aging, signs of ageing, 24 hour, twenty-four hour, alert, alerts, emergency, emergencies, vanity, vain, ego, egotistical, egotistic, wrinkle, wrinkles
"I was sad because I had no on-board fax until I saw a man who had no mobile phone."
'Here's a bottle of water and what's left of my turkey sandwich. ... You have my word, Bob. When we finish this round, get back to the clubhouse...'
Tags:emergency, emergencies, defibrillator, defibrillators, clubhouse, clubhouses, choke, choking, choked, chokes, golf, golfing, golfed, golfs, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, golf player, golf players, golf club, golf clubs, golf ball, golf balls, priority, priorities, in the bleachers
'You've got a better idea? The paddles are Broken. Just turn the key.'
"Ladies and gentlemen, is there a bankruptcy attorney on board?"
"Let me just charge it for ten more seconds."
'We managed to save almost everything in your van from the fire. . . except for the bread. . . it's toast.'
"Let me back out- that was my car alarm."
"It seemed important at the time."
Save the bacon,
'On your way to Emerald City, could you drop me off at the E.R.?'
'Yeah, I hear the squealing noise too. Probably just a bad wheel bearing.'
"Is there a playwright in the house?"
'Being constipated for three hours is no an emergency and does not require repeated pushing of the call button.'
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
Ambulance Paramedic making the 'Nee Naw' noise.
The Heimlich Maneuver
Tags:heimlich maneuver, choke, choking, first aid, first-aid, first aider, first-aider, dates, date, dating, on a date, relationship, couples, couples, awkward, awkward conversation, awkward conversations, nervous, nervousness, dinner date, dinner dates, awkwardness, awkward date, awkward dates, the heimlich maneuver, heimlich manoeuvre, the heimlich manoeuvre, emergency, emergencies, choking hazard, choking hazards
"I opened the last of the emergency wine."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, wine, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, emergency, emergencies, emergency wine, problem, problems, issue, issues, bottle of wine, bottles of wine, last, opened, opening